Detroit, MI – GlossyNews.com – A worldwide recall for Corvette and Hummer vehicles has been officially announced, ending weeks of speculation by industry insiders and automotive experts. The recall addresses certain models that have been plagued, as Chairman Delany Forbes put it, ‘with levels of emissions that don’t meet federal standards, specifically nocturnal.’ The recall was announced by senior company executives and released to the automobile industry press today.
Forbes cited details from dealer reports confirming the concerns of users and dealers who have been plagued with a rash of recent consumer complaints, as well as those rashes more organic in nature.
The underlying thread, and one that seems to tie most complaints together, usually starts off with, ‘There seems to be a God-awful mess on my garage floor every morning.’
First reported in January as an anomaly, dealer complaints forced the car giant to evaluate the condition that seemed to be most prevalent in the two of its most exotic models lines. Due to the massive scaling back ordered company-wide last year, technicians were overwhelmed to address the issue as quickly as consumers might hope.
“We think we just might have made our cars a tad too sexy,” Claims Burt Klump, senior designer. “In fact, in our advertising we tried to appeal to buyers as having the ultimate sexual boy-toy. I guess our themed approach is working even better than we [had] hoped.”
Corvette owner Ted Blatz, of New Brunswick, New Jersey, vented his dissatisfaction in an email to company officials, which read: “I feel weird now. Every time I walk into my garage I have this terrible feeling that my car is going to hit the red-line and blow its transmission juice all over my floor!”
We were unable to reach officials at General Motors before going to print, but their voicemail greeting assured us that our call was indeed important.