2023 Prediction Story – Marketing Manager Edition (Part 5)

We continue our Look to the Future series today with an entry from Danny Saunders, a Marketing Manager for a major wireless telecommunications company.

He’s not merely a genius, he’s a close personal friend of mine, and one of a very few I would consider smarter than me, and I’ve been tested; I’m smarter than hell.

When he says ‘jump’ I say, how high do you think I am? It’s a fair question. Last time it happened I was hopped up on mescaline, and his response was “awfully high”, and he was right.

Here are his predicitons:

See the rest of the series
TotalFarkers Futurist Comments
Brian K. White, Satirist
Jordan Andersen, Sr. Programmer
Rex Talionis, Web Expert
Dean Chambers, Statistician (coming soon)

You’ll use your dashboard car stereo again. Fully networked, ubiquitous computing will make the days of plugging into the auxilliary port a quaint behavior sometimes featured in movies about the period.

The next great religion will make its first appearance, and it will involve Jesus AND aliens.

Everything you do will be a matter of public record. Rates of crime will continue to fall, as will rates of abortion, infidelity, drug use…. there will be a large puritanical movement in the west.

A serious outbreak of antibiotic resistant bacteria will lead to strict legal controls on how antibiotics can be used.

Sure, go ahead and learn Chinese, if you want, but English will be even more widespread than today.

A home will cost slightly less in inflation adjusted terms than it does today.

Due to scarcity of the element, children will not know the joy of making their voices all high-pitched with helium.

Chinese entrepreneurship in Africa will prove more effective in elevating material well-being on the continent than western aid ever has. China will fight at least one foreign war there to defend its interests.

There will be plenty of plenty of parking— for a price. Monitoring systems will make it possible to raise or lower the price of parking in real time so there is always at least one space available nearby. You’ll even be able to rent out your private space at home if you live in a high demand area.

Computer keyboards will start to become irrelevant. This won’t be due to computers that understand natural language. Instead, input systems based on scans of small body movements will replace key strokes.

Self-driving cars will lead to reduced numbers of traffic deaths and more energy efficient driving. Reputation-based security will make it safe to give a ride or catch one, and location based services will easily pair drivers with riders.

Author: Dexter Sinistri

Dexter Sinistri is a famously centrist writer who has worked as a Hollywood correspondent for a number of leading publications since 2005. Though once a photographer, Mr. Sinistri struck out as a writer on all things celebrity, and he likes to consider himself a tremendous asset to Glossy News, though by most accounts, he has fallen somewhat short of this effort.

1 thought on “2023 Prediction Story – Marketing Manager Edition (Part 5)

  1. The bit about Africa I haven't seen or heard elsewhere, or even thought about… Chinese businessmen are ubiquitous in Africa, no doubt about it. There's something to this idea.

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