Greetings fellow Americans (Queue in Picture of Karl Rove in Lederhosen)–
Are you one of the millions of downtrodden Americans who have never had a lucky break? I was one too, but I am going to pass on to you how you can break out of the bad luck cycle with my new book “Weaseling Your Way To Success!”
As a child I was unattractive, unpopular and as dorky as Popeye going through spinach withdrawals. But I powered through all that to the very top echelons of our society. This book, which has become a top seller on the Neo-Nazi Learn-to-Read Program, will show you all the conniving tricks you need to know to claw your way to the top by undermining everyone else.
Chapters include:
1. Ethics Is For Schmucks
2. Joseph Goebbels’ 10 Steps To Schmoozing Everyone
3. Why Lincoln’s Statement “ou can’t fool all the people all the time” Is A Handicap Needing To Be Overcome.
To Be Successful the Karl Rove Way, Remember This Keyword- L-I-E-S.
L = Less work
I = Intelligent reorientation of the truth.
E = Effective scheming.
S = Spice up the story
Follow the steps in my easy plan and you too can be a highly paid weasel for the FOX News propaganda machine.
You too can make a fortune twisting the truth to fit your viewpoint, using character assassination to bring power to yourself and to live high on the hog at taxpayers expense.