(Vice Presidential candidate Ivanka Trump says Stop The Steal)
Former President Donald Trump says the 2024 Presidential election has already been stolen from him and that the upcoming vote should be overturned in his favor.
Trump, in a case of history repeating itself, said that if he lost, it would mean the vote was fixed.
Speaking before 20,000 supporters at a raucous rally in Bismarck, North Dakota, Trump implored his followers to march on the U.S. Capitol to demand that the upcoming vote be overturned in his favor. “And I’ll be there marching with you,” Trump promised.
Trump called the 2024 election a “fraud” before it had even been held. Trump said the same thing before the 2020 election that “the only way we’re going to lose…is if the election is rigged,”
Ivanka Trump, who Donald Trump famously said he would date if she wasn’t his daughter, echoed her father’s charges that the votes in the swing states of Arizona, Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Wisconsin, would obviously be bogus.
“Stop the Steal,” Ivanka Trump said at a news conference at Trump Tower in New York accompanied by Trump campaign manager and husband Jared Kushner, and campaign lawyer Rudy Giuliani, who despite numerous reports to the contrary denied that he was drunk as a skunk.
As the vice-presidential candidate, Ivanka Trump said her role was to point out the many “dirty tricks” the Democrats were planning to use, including manipulating the voting machines to ensure her father’s election would be stolen. Ivanka Trump added, in an aside, that American women should do their “patriotic duty” and rush to the mall to buy some of her new clothes designs and sandals.
In another case of history almost repeating itself, Ivanka Trump was reportedly considered to be her father’s running mate in 2016 before Daddy Trump eventually went with Mike Pence.
Speaking of which, Donald Trump said his first act after being inaugurated President for a second term would be to throw his former vice-president in jail for being a traitor for refusing to reject the certification of the 2020 election. Trump said he was still undecided whether Pence should be hanged for his “treacherous” deeds, but would consult with his top advisor, Mike the “My Pillow Guy” Lindell on whether hanging or execution by firing squad would be the most appropriate sentence dispensed to Pence.
Trump charged that the “lamestream radical left-wing” television networks and “socialist” newspapers, with their “fake news,” are all conspiring to deny him the presidency in 2024, as he alleged they also did in 2020.
“The press is the enemy of the people,” Trump said. “They’re doing everything within their power to fight the magnificence of the phrase, MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!”
Trump said Americans should rush to the stores to buy their red MAGA hats before they sell out, and should do the same with other Trump products such as Trump Steaks and Trump-branded wine and water. Trump also announced that he is reopening Trump University, which will start enrollment in 2023, to produce the “greatest” real estate brokers in American history.
“You want to be rich? I’m going to help you make so much money, your head will spin, okay?” Trump said in announcing the reopening of his university. “You’re going to make so much money Crooked Hillary will be hitting you up to donate to her sleazy foundation, which by the way, that’s no foundation. Okay?”
Trump spoke at the Bismarck rally accompanied by his wife, Melania, who he said was “almost as beautiful as my daughter, Ivanka. Oh my god, I can’t keep my hands off either of them.”
Asked by reporters after the rally whether having his daughter on his ticket was a blatant case of nepotism, Trump said who wouldn’t want a “tall, beautiful blond babe like Ivanka” as vice-president?
“Would you rather have Rosie O’Donnell or some other lesbian to look at every day, not that I have anything against lesbians?” Trump said, even if in the past he called Rosie a “loser, a real loser” and a “horrible human being, a terrible person.”
Trump said after finishing his term as President in 2028 Ivanka should succeed him in the Oval Office for another two terms, a notion that his daughter said she’s willing to consider if her husband Jared and their kids think she doesn’t have anything better to do.
Ivanka would be followed by Donald Trump’s younger son, Baron Von Trump III, who will be only 30 in 2036, but no problem with his father’s signing a law that would overturn the age restriction of needing to be 35 to be President.
Trump senior said no matter whether Ivanka or Baron is nominated for the White House, the “Commie Democrats, lamestream media,” and Mike Pence will try to cheat them out of being elected President. If that happens, Trump said he will put Rudy Giuliani on the case to rectify the situation.
“I have great confidence Rudy will do what needs to be done, that is if he’s not drunk,” Trump declared.