After Congress presented the U.S with a bill called “HIJO DE SU PUTA MADRE”, the corporation responsible for distributing the Hispanic culture’s entertainment programs on television, Univision, was declared bankrupt, leaving thousands in ruin and on the streets.
One man, Felipe Pancho Francisco Guadalupe Hidalgo de la Rosa, told us that “ever since the banning, my wife and kids have been spending their time outside of the kitchen and socializing with people. It’s horrible.”
A month after its introduction, the law left many womanizing fathers out in the streets with no wife left to beat up after a long day of waiting at the parking lot of a local Home Depot.
The outraged “citizens” of a no particular city gathered in unison to protest against the unfair and unjust law at Univision headquarters to make their voice heard.
Everyone in the family came along for the trip. There was Diego, Pancho, Francisco, Pepe, Felipe, Rudi, Tony, Creeper, Esperanza and that one guy selling corn on a cob.
The president of Univision Communications, inc, Señor Alfonso Don Quijote de la Villa de la Cruz de la Rosa de la Puta Guadalupe de la Chinga tu Puta Madre Güey, was forced to address the issue, something of which disturbed him.
“People and “citizens” of this no particular “fine” town, I can guarantee to you that this law is crushing us all as a community and as civilians. Couldn’t we all just get along with no crime and not let our children become a reason for the Gringos to beat the shit out of us? Couldn’t we just let our wives be socially equal and let them apply for jobs other than manual labor in some white guy’s kitchen?”
The Earth seemed to stand still. Everyone looking at each other, seeming to agree to what this man had to say. Laughter filled the air seconds later.
Socially equal? No crime in public streets? No way Jose Pancho Francisco. At least not for these people.
Months after the protest, Hispanic women everywhere were soon employed at white men’s houses, forced to clean after them, ignoring questions and declarations such as, “Where did you get that black eye?”, “Let’s fuck, no one’s gonna find out.”, and the classic “Bitch! Do as I say or I’ll call immigration on you!”
Oh crackers.