Sure, you remember him. Yes, that adorable Fred Flintstone wearing his cave man outfit of an animal skin over one shoulder and hanging around with best friend Barney Rubble.
The Flintstones were the modern age vision of a Stone Age family. Residing in the fictitious town of Bedrock, Fred Flintstone worked an unsatisfying quarry job on top of a dinosaur steam-shovel, for a bad-guy boss who squandered his labor to enhance his luxury cave on Knob Hill. But each evening Fred returned home to his lovely wife Wilma and eventually daughter Pebbles.
Fred, a big fan of golf and bowling, also enjoyed bullying fairly stupid Barney Rubble (his neighbor), while Barney’s saucy and hot wife Betty was best friends with Wilma. The show convinced a generation of children that dinosaurs and humans occupied the planet at the same time.
For over a decade evening television blared out a familiar theme song…
‘Flintstones, meet the Flintstones,
They’re a modern stone-age family.
From the, town of Bedrock, They’re a page right out of history.
Let’s ride, with the family down the street,
Through the courtesy of Fred’s two feet.
When you’re, with the Flintstones,
Have a yabba dabba doo time,
A dabba doo time,
You’ll have a gay old time! ‘
Funded by a generous grant from the Democratic House Studies Institute, $3 million federal dollars have been spent in a effort to finally put the rumors circulating since the 1960s to rest. Rutgers University’s Dr. Oscar Von Schitzlewagon has completed over 7,000 hours of extensive research, and has viewed all 167 episodes of the Flintstones carefully… His conclusion and final report has been compiled in his new, best-selling book… ‘Bedrock-Where Neanderthal Homosexuality Began.’
According to Dr. Von Schitlewagon, Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble were gay men as evidenced by the last line of the theme song…you’ll have a gay old time!
Von Schitlewagon believes the song lyrics contained a hidden message to 1960s closeted gays everywhere. According to the professor,
“ In episode 113, it clearly shows Fred being the dominant, gay male side of the relationship and Barney being the more feminine side of the pair. Further evidenced by the gown, wig, and women’s frilly underwear Barney was wearing.”
NOTE: So, if the song lyrics were a gay message, please tell us what Yabba Dabba Doo really means?
And I also wanted to say, since am legendray war (and general disaster) coruspondent after all? I, Blake Pennywhistle, always thought there was something troubling in that whole ‘Homo Erectus’ bunch.
It just doesn’t sound right, does it? So again, I applaud this Target Barbell chap, for his sound journalism!
Practice safe sex. Be careful who you Yabba Dabba Doo with!
Hey! I’m missing GNN journalist Blake Pennywhistle! I was in a Chilean mine all along, turns out.
Would like to take this opportunity to laud Targis Barbill for his journalism. Now somebody has to break the whole George Jetson/Rosie the Robot maid scandal, and perhaps the healing can begin.