Northern Ireland Song Parodies I: Ulster Girl (Billy Joel/Westlife Parody)

Now I wish she was an Ulster girl
She’s been living in her green-paved world
Until now she hasn’t found no loyalist guy
She hasn’t toul’ her ma, I wonder why!

I’m gonna make her an Ulster girl
She’s been living in her Papish world
As long as any fan of Rangers can
And now she’s looking for a Protestant man
That there’s what I am!

And when she knows what
She wants from her loyalist man
And when she wakes up
She prays forgiveness at the chapel as hard as she can!

Why’s she call me a heretic
I’m a good Prod boy, makes me sick!

I want an Ulster girl
You know I’ve seen her in her mummery world
She’s getting tired of her incense and bells
We’re goin to the pubs and raisin’ hells
She’s got a good lad now!

I wish my girl was an Ulster girl
Buy her a 99 cone, with strawberry swirls
But at her parent’s house when the priest comes in
He tell her she’s committing a mortal sin
Ach sure, what odds!

And when she splits with me
She’s looking so green and all
But when it’s the 12 of July
I know that she’ll come and call on me!

But she says I’m so far from God
Just because I’m a Prod, sure what odds, aye aye!

How I wish I had an Ulster girl
She’s been living in her saintly world
As long as any fan of King Billy can
And now she’s looking for a loyalist man
That’s what I am, what I am, boys!

How I wish I had an Ulster girl
She’ll soon be my Ulster girl
Her parents don’t know I’m in love
With an Ulster gi-iiirrrlll!

Author: Wallace Runnymede

Wallace is the editor of Brian K. White's epic website, Glossy News! Email him with your content at (Should be @, not #!) Or if you'd like me to help you tease out some ideas that you can't quite put into concrete form, I'd love to have some dialogue with you! Catch me on Patreon too, or better still, help out our great writers on the official Glossy News Patreon (see the bottom of the homepage!) Don't forget to favourite Glossy News in your browser, and like us on Facebook too! And last but VERY MUCH not the least of all... Share, share, SHARE! Thanks so much for taking the time to check out our awesome site!