Categorized | Music, World News

Putin & ISIS: Tyranny’s Latest Flamboyant Supergroup

Putin & ISIS: Tyranny’s Latest Flamboyant Supergroup

Universally beloved plastic pop enterprise X Factor has finally lost its shine.

Yup! No-one ever believed this classic of early 21st century manufactured inanity would ever end up being discredited by a flamboyant and sexually doubting, um, sexually dubious former KGB Lenin lookalike…

But such is life!

Or as Louis Walsh would no doubt belt out in his cups:

‘C’est la Vie!’

Still, the hidden hand of the music industry has guided the nation of Russia to unanticipated progress; all by means of mere individual self-interest!

Yes, just see this storming (not to say stormtrooping!) video of Russia’s most swishiest Elton John admirer for proof:

Oof! Look daddy, no hands!

Admittedly, that was way back in 2010. But Vladimir Putin has recently been invited by the notable karaoke fan(-atics) ISIS to educate them on the error of their ways. Their mutual commitment to rockin’ n’ jammin’ on human rights is likely to result in an unanticipated explosion of carnivalesque fellow-feeling and brotherhood.

That said, whether he will soon gatecrash Twitter and make a highly photogenic ‘guest appearance’ is not clear. What I can say, however, is that when he finally gets together with ISIS (not to mention getting down with them!), it won’t be on the ISIS Karaoke Twitter account:

I mean, let’s just put it this way. Just like ISIS, people may say Putin has perfectly pure and honest intentions; but he’s probably getting f***’d for the world to come!

Still, given his unpleasant attitude towards gay people, I don’t think anyone will have too much sympathy for the fellow co-homophobe of al-Baguetti.

Let’s just hope they don’t offer him 80s, um, 70 virgins!

Yes, Our Cutesy Little Putesy kinda has a double standard:

‘Sexual liberation for me, but not for thee.’

Well, crimes against music are bad enough. But hating people for their sexuality isn’t a good thing either.

Putin comments:

Why you have been make a dismotivation to be comprehending well the manner of my wordings? I do not have no kind of things against the gay. I have only some things of mine self’s own against the inflexible and rigidly stiff-necked tyrant who be causing of the annoyance and of the tiresome exhaustions in the countries of their peoples.


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Sub-editor of Glossy News. Contact me to pitch or submit your satire! You can buy my satire and poetry ebooks from many online stores, including Amazon. Make sure you like the Glossy News and Wallace Runnymede pages on Facebook!


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