Tiger Records Rock Album in Effort to Change Image

Miami Beach FL (GlossyNews) – As the great Jerry Lee Lewis once sang: “Too much love drives a man insane.” Tiger Woods took a page from the Killer’s book last week and finished recording his own solo album.

The 14 track CD, tentatively titled ‘Can’t Tame This Tiger’, includes his renditions of a number of classic hits such as “Teddy Bear”, “Shot Through The Heart”, “You’re All I’ve Got Tonight”, “Satisfaction”, “Dirty Deeds (Done Dirt Cheap)”, “Shook Me All Night Long”, “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”, “867-5309/Jenny”, and Freddie Mercury’s “Bohemian Rhapsody”.

EMI Records spokesman Luis Ortiz told Glossy News that the album had been in the works for months, long before Tiger’s recent scandals. About the scandals, Ortiz said, “You know, in the entertainment industry, we always say ‘no news is bad news’. Sometimes being in the spotlight can further a career.” But the jury is out in this case. Tiger wants to change his image, so maybe a bad-boy rocker will be a refreshing change.

Ortiz also mentioned that Woods had ‘a little help from his friends’ Bruce Springsteen, Ron Woods, Leann Rimes, Wynton Marsalis, Will Smith and George O’Dowd – better known as Boy George – who was recently released from home detention in his own scandal.

Close friends of Woods said that with the looming possibility of divorce and his potential excommunication from the world of golf, Tiger was looking forward to exploring a new career and a new phase in his life. It is also reported that Woods has begun guitar lessons with Eddie Van Halen, although Glossy News has not yet confirmed that.

First impressions of the CD were mixed, although one critic did say that Woods exhibited an ‘unusual’ style and that his interpretations of the songs were ‘unique’. Promoters at EMI Records reported Woods is scheduled for six concerts this spring to include venues at Augusta, Georgia and Palms Springs, California. “EMI expects brisks sales of the CDs, with the possibility it may go gold,” Ortiz said

Author: Reverend Mike

@rev_rend Reverend Mike is a contributing editor for Glossy News. He was a Combat Chaplain with the Soviet Red Army in the 1980s. A career which he describes as an 'unappreciated field of endeavor'. He later worked as an Information Officer with the TASS News Agency on assignment in White Sands, NM. The collapse of the Soviet Union left him unemployed and homeless. He survived by selling magazine subscriptions door to door disguised as a college coed. He was later kidnapped and taken to Shanghai where he was sold into a white slavery ring. He lived as a concubine for a Japanese music industry mogul until 2002 when a wardrobe malfunction revealed his true identity. He found himself homeless and unemployed again, with only his collection of Polaroid snap shots. Reverend Mike has since scraped together a meagre living by blackmailing Japanese industrialists. Reverend Mike lives in a small 5 bedroom penthouse flat overlooking Central Park in New York City. His hobbies include exotic motorcycles, supermodels and owning small nations....