Glossy News Spam Surge: Establishment ‘Godwinbots’ to Blame (1/2)

The loyal vigilance of the Glossy News team is keeping your comments pages free from spam, from dawn to dusk.

Glossy News is at the forefront of taking out spambots whenever and wherever they poke their thieving, parasitical tentacles.

But what is it that drives these cynical, malevolent bastards, the true enemies of all authentic and legitimate satire?

It turns out that the spam bots afflicting Glossy News are actually a kind of vile, malingering Trojan horse.

While these nefarious forces may APPEAR, superficially, to be merely offering you a free foreskin extension, or a not-so-free wrinkle-free funsack…

They are ACTUALLY covert ops sent out by Vast Right-Wing, Vast Left-Wing, and (not-so-)otherwise Vast-Beltway-Establishment forces, in order to maliciously infiltrate the satire media.

But who are they really?

‘Godwin bots,’ or in layperson’s terms, ‘Godwinbots,’ are only superficially about extravagantly hilarious dick-pulling and muscle-firming. In reality, ‘Godwinbots’ are sent out to sow seeds of doubt in the minds of those who DARE question the truth of those who really do know better than them.

Here are a few (no-longer-just-so-)classified examples of what Godwinbots do, when they finally throw off all disguises and plunge their fists into the gaping mouths, nostrils, or other vaguely botly-erotic orifices of their enemies.

(OK, let me say ‘ears’ too. ‘Mouths, nostrils, ears’ just about covers it. Never let it be said the Establishment is uptight and lacking in kink!)

Unpatriotic Pinko Troll Example #1:

 Goering said ‘all you have to do is create a fictional or at least semi-fictional enemy within and without, and then bring the people to your bidding to denounce the naysayers as traitors and parasites.’ Sound familiar?

 Godwinbot Takedown:

 StfUP_ with ur MORREL E-EQUIVALENC, DUDE! Y;U are literilly worse tanh HITTLERRR!!!!!

 Unpatriotic Pinko Troll Example #2:

Ha! Just quit watching Fox News and CNN. Actually, Naomi Wolf had a great article about this.

Godwinbot Takedown:

I HAVE A WURRK FROM TEN OURS P/R DAY MAKE A TROLL CRITTISISSM OF NAOMI WOLFE, YU CAN MAKE 3 DOLLAR$ TOO IF YOU ONLY CAN, UYO MUST!!!!__,,!

Owch! Headache already. Join us next time!

Author: Wallace Runnymede

Wallace is the editor of Brian K. White's epic website, Glossy News! Email him with your content at wallacerunnymede#gmail.com (Should be @, not #!) Or if you'd like me to help you tease out some ideas that you can't quite put into concrete form, I'd love to have some dialogue with you! Catch me on Patreon too, or better still, help out our great writers on the official Glossy News Patreon (see the bottom of the homepage!) Don't forget to favourite Glossy News in your browser, and like us on Facebook too! And last but VERY MUCH not the least of all... Share, share, SHARE! Thanks so much for taking the time to check out our awesome site!

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