INDIANAPOLIS – Seemingly not content to just let office worker Aaron McMillan clock out of work at the regular time of five-thirty, a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet is doing everything in its Goddamn power Monday to make sure that McMillan stays behind at least another 3 minutes, while it just does its thing.
Taking an effing lifetime to finish saving, the spreadsheet, which the 31-year-old Wepler Finance employee had seamlessly used throughout his schedule to input the company’s quarterly profits, initially seemed to be closing down before it just now froze up.
Really, computer?, confirmed sources.
The file sure is taking its sweet time, and just at the very moment that all of McMillan’s co-workers – including Rachael, that one chick McMillan really wanted to strike a post-work conversation with – are heading home for the night.
Unwittingly making matters worse, meanwhile, McMillan just opened up his computer’s Force Quit application. However, reports suggest that Holy Jesus Christ, even the stupid Task Manager isn’t working. Isn’t ctrl>alt>delete supposed to solve everything?
Unable to take this shit any longer, McMillan might just go ahead and hold down the power button and just have done with it. At this point, what else can he possibly freaking do?
Thank God for that, concluded sources, adding that the file better fucking be there when McMillan returns tomorrow or the whole damn thing will be hurled out of the nearest window.