The biggest name in 90s femimusic has been linked with the biggest name in subsription-only television faux drama. Akabus Morissette and Sarah Jessica Parker have not only come out as lebians, but as equine-Canadiamericans at that.
In an announcement that shocked literally twos of soulless Hollywood star chasers, multi-platinum recording artst Alanis Morrissette has come out as a lesbian, a self-proclaimed “Canadian” and a conveneint lesbian.
Actress Sarah Jessica Parker was caught coming out of the property where Matthew Broderick stables his horses.
We asked her if she was williung to comment, but she only said “Nay” abd stomped her hooves in the pattern of 9-11, which told us we should glomb onto her car to photograph her even more.
The Aston Martin she drives is reportedly a cusom build, allowing her hooves to smash the pedals, rather than be operated by a human being. When questioned about why he wasn’t driving, Broderick said only, “Crap, they’re at my windw. Dammmit girl I’ll give you a bucket of sugar cubes if you get me out of here.”
Despite repeated requests t0 Mr. Bueller and Misses Ed’s publicists, we haven’t been able to get them on the record.
As such, we can only assume they’re working with Al Qaeda. What have you folks to hide, if not insurgency!
(We actually love Alannis. I saw her at the Weathered Wall in Seattle before her single blew up, and she’s just the best. When the acoustic re-release of Jagged Little Pill came out, bet your ass I bought it and listened to it for a week on end… She still rocks, regardless of whatever manner of dick I may be.)