Miley Proposes Soap as Weapon of Mass Destruction

Los Angeles, California – Since her celebrated beginnings in Nashville, Tennessee, as the daughter of country singer, Billy Ray Cyrus, Miley Cyrus has experienced a radiant career that has taken her from the Disney Channel to the big stage at MTV’s Video Music Awards to her current role as an outside consultant for the United States Army.

“I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if she decides to run for President one day,” proclaimed Sergeant Dennis Hoppler, who has followed Miley’s career from the beginning when she portrayed a Girl Scout cookie seller in the film, Little Bitches, starring Mickey Rourke and Madonna.

“She always says that as long as she doesn’t overtwerk herself, that she will continue keeping our troop’s entertained, while providing groundbreaking ideas,” added Hoppler.

Miley’s new idea involves exploiting the high kill rate of common hand soap against our enemies to ensure that we are slaying as many of our adversaries (and their germs) as humanly possible. She claims the soap proposed has a 99.9% kill rate.

“This idea will revolutionize the way we fight,” said Miley’s former assistant, Jean Shoemakrovsky, who still remains in close contact with Cyrus since their split over six days ago.

Officials, though are still trying to figure out the best way to utilize hand soap in battle, but claim they are excited to try out the idea. They expect to have a solution in place by Independence Day.


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