Categorized | Celebrity Gossip, Television

Gay Duck Porn Found on Phil Robertson’s Hard Drive

Gay Duck Porn Found on Phil Robertson’s Hard Drive

Duck Dynasty patriarch Phil Robertson may not condone human homosexuality, but a recent reveal of the contents of his personal computer exposes his fascination with homosexual behavior in the animal kingdom, particularly in the duck species.

The hacker group Anonymous recently unveiled the Dynasty star’s peccadillo for unconventional forms of sex after the controversial star came under fire for comparing human homosexuals to drunkards, terrorists, and prostitutes.

“Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men,” he told the magazine GQ about the decline of America. “Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers—they won’t inherit the kingdom of God.”

But it seems, judging from his personal hard drive, same-sex duck fornicators get a pass for the Pearly Gates.

Found on his hard drive were pictures of male ducks getting their duck dynasty on, as well as several heterosexual “Rape Flight” images of males ducks mounting females in mid-flight. Also included was a short video ripped from Youtube of a duck engaging in necrophilia with another duck (whose sex remains unknown). Scientists insist that homosexual behavior isn’t rare amongst animal species, and is actually quite common among ducks and other birds. Such fascination with duck sex, however, remains an oddity among our human species.

Several people close to Robertson have also made allegations that he enjoys mounting ducks, but friends insists that he only mounts animals for taxidermy purposes and that no other hanky panky occurs.

In response to this most recent outing, Robertson excused the content of his computer as “market research and case studies into the nature of ducks so that we can make better duck calls.” He added, “That’s what’s wrong with our society. Everyone is so quick to judge and assume the worst.”

Several others have come to his defense.

“I don’t have any right to judge Phil if he gets his jollies from watching documentaries on Animal Planet. Duck Dynasty is still a very funny show,” said a female DD fan sporting pink camouflage in the local Bass Pro Shop. “Personally I think he would prefer a duck’s vagina to its anus, but that’s his call, not mine.”

“Phil shouldn’t be punished for exercising his right to freedom of speech,” said Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal, who once called his own Republican party the ‘stupid party.’ “He has a right to believe whatever hateful things he wishes. Seriously what did A&E expect to come out of his gray bearded lips? Rainbows and tolerance?”

Another friend of Robertson, Sarah Palin, who has been filmed shooting wolves from a helicopter, and pressuring a local librarian on the issue of banning books, called A&E’s decision to suspend Robertson from Duck Dynasty shameful because “free speech is an endangered species.”

Meanwhile, Duck Dynasty’s future on A&E looks bleak. The cast of the show is unanimously supporting Robertson as it considers an offer from the FOX News Network.

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This post was written by

- who has written 11 posts on GlossyNews.com.

Jenny Corvette is the pen name of Jennifer Gardner, a freelance writer living in Southwest Michigan. She has been nearly arrested and sued over her satirical writing about her local hick town. In her free time, she plays pool, volunteers with political campaigns, and paints Spray Paint Art, all of the proceeds benefiting animal causes. She can be found on facebook at http://facebook.com/jennycorvette

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3 Responses to “Gay Duck Porn Found on Phil Robertson’s Hard Drive”

  1. rfreed says:

    Homo duck pornography? What is the south coming to? (Double entendre was not intentional but upon review is lewdly funny).

    Sarah Palin loves gay moose videos.

  2. If it’s any consolation, all the gay ducks on Phil’s (very) hard drive were all underage.

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