Bodyguard Sues Wrong Bieber Out of Shame

After learning just a day ago about a lawsuit filed against Justin Bieber by Moshe Benabou, a former bodyguard of the teen singer, this reporter felt there had to be more to the story than met the eye, and boy, was I right!

After doing some judicious investigating, I discovered that some time last October, Jeremy Bieber, who does not live with his son or the boy’s mother, had gone to the teen sensation’s dressing room in order to congratulate him after yet another successful concert, but after opening the door, found him ‘relaxing’ with the aforementioned Benabou.

Naturally upset at discovering the two in a position like that of Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky, Bieber Senior naturally demanded how long the two had been in a relationship. Upon learning that it had been over a year, meaning Justin had been well below the legal age of consent for anal sex in Canada at the time, Bieber Senior physically attacked Benabou, repeatedly punching the man, who, despite his profession, was barely able to defend himself against the enraged father.

And that is why Moshe Benabou is suing the wrong Bieber; because if he sues the father, he has to admit to having been assaulted over a potentially illegal relationship with the son.

Author: Sheogorath

As an Autie with a very warped imagination (IOO) and an extremely wicked sense of humour (IMO), I make quite a good satirist (also IMO), especially when writing songs about fanfiction, the Internet, or Disney.

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