Wilmington, De Patriot Time Travel — 1782 – On a recent time travel expedition to the late 1700’s, Sarah Palin found herself in bed with Jacob Broom, another B-level politician some consider a Founding Father and a man “who knows one when he sees one.” According to a report from an ear-witness known only as “Mary,” a conversation overheard coming from behind a certain ramshackle wall went something like this:
“How was that?”
“Mmmm baby girl, you know what I like”
“Uhhh, I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”
“What’s that Sugar Pie?”
“Have you accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as your Savior?”
“Well, sure I have, hasn’t everybody?”
“Well, I just want to be sure cuz there some folks out there sayin’ the Founding Fathers aren’t Christian.”
“You want me to be Christian, Sweetie? Then I’ll be a Christian, just for you.”
“I mean it-you are, aren’t you?”
“I told you, yes. Jesus is the best. In fact, I wish he was sitting right here watching us love on each other.”
“Don’t talk like that!”
“Well-why do you have to be so Jesus this and Jesus that all the time.”
“Because I love Jesus!”
“Well then go cuddle with Jesus. Where’s my God-damned pants?”