Uncouth Act at Remembrance Day Inspires Award-Winning Poem

London Poet Alan Wright has won ‘Poem of the year 2018’ – an impromptu poem recital, inspired by the actions of an uncouth man in the crowd at London’s Remembrance Day.

Wright 52, told Glossy News:

“I was asked to recite a poem at Remembrance Day in London, to honour the sacrifices British soldiers have made in past wars. Her Majesty the Queen and leaders of the main political parties laid down wreaths at the base of the cenotaph, and a two minute’s silence was impeccably observed.

I stood up on stage with my poem, and I looked at the faces of the brave soldiers in uniform, decorated in their medals. I looked at the solemn faces of the poppy-wearing public, their heads bowed – and then I saw a man bent over, trying to open a beer bottle with his ass cheeks.

I was so horrified by this I felt compelled to recite an impromptu poem about it. I abandoned my scheduled war poem, ‘A British Rose,’ and instead I read a poem: ‘Get That Beer Bottle From Out Of Your Asshole.’


(Get That Beer Bottle From Out Of Your Asshole)

Get that beer bottle from out of your asshole,
Remembrance Day protocol does not expect,
Such a vulgar exhibition, show some respect.
Soldiers died so you could be free,
Not so you could open a bottle with your ass
For the whole world to see

Remembrance Day marred by the image
Of a bottle in your anus – our minds now
Indelibly scarred

This act so brazen, so undignified, so crass,
May these war heroes pour their due scorn
Over your filthy encroaching ass.

Next year don’t bring that beer
And stuff it into your gap,
Just remember to bring a bottle opener
Or make sure it has a screw-on cap.

Author: Stephen Philip Druce

Stephen Philip Druce is a spoof/satire article writer from Shrewsbury in the UK. He has previous publications with The Lemon Press, News Mutiny, The Daily Squib, The Inconsequential, Web-E-Books (USA), The Druids Loom and Bad Scents Of Humour. For updates on Stephen’s humour articles, follow him on Twitter - @DruceStephen.