UPDATE: This never really got off the ground. However, as we move towards 2020, we are looking at new ways to improve writer and user experience. We promise to keep you posted!

From 1 March onwards, Glossy News will be providing an incentives and rewards scheme.

Make sure you share this article, and like our Facebook page.

Here’s how it works!

Monthly Fund

Every month, there is a pot of $50 set aside.

We may revise this over time, but that depends on how the site goes. Obviously, the more you help us (see below!), the greater the change the monthly total fund can increase.

Every person who has opted into the scheme gets a share of the $50.

Everyone is eligible to opt in, except Brian K. White, One Tongue Johnny, Dexter Sinistri, Wallace Runnymede, Wallace’s Books.

If you don’t opt in, you are not eligible for payment: but we will make sure we contact everyone in advance.

How is the Money Divided?

There are two possible approaches for this:

Quality and Quantity.

Quality of Satire

Quality of satire is not entirely subjective; but it’s subjective enough, to make it difficult to distribute the money fairly.

Also, a qualitative approach risks creating room for unhealthy rivalry, rather than healthy rivalry. We also don’t want accusations of cronyism, nepotism, bias.

So this approach is not really satisfactory.

Quantity of Satire

Quantity of satire is not ideal, because it doesn’t factor in quality. However, that’s not really a problem. The actual income of the site does not necessarily correspond with qualitative matters; and like I said, quality is not entirely subjective, but it’s still open to debate.

The quantitative approach is a little crude, but it reduces the risk of the wrong kind of rivalry. We want some healthy competition, and we also want the workload on the editorial team reduced severely (I myself will be doing most or all of the decision work, and it is a big ask for me to carve a sum of $5o among several contributors, and do it fairly and objectively, unless we take this rather crude numbers-based approach).

You might then ask, ‘Well what if the site gets filled with junk?’

The first point here is that our contributors don’t send us junk, and I see no reason to believe why that would start now. Everyone here has my full confidence; and I’m sure the webmaster and head editor, Brian K. White, will agree with me entirely.

Secondly, on the very, very off chance we did start having funny things happening, we could always revise the policy. But I think the chances of that are astronomically low, as we really do have a great team of people here, and I am just thrilled that I have been able to make the case to Brian for a monthly fund of $50.

Please comment below, or email me, if you want to opt in; although I’m going to email our recent contributors anyway, as well as any returning contributors who submit or publish anything with us.

wallacerunnymede @ gmail.com (minus the spaces, of course! This is just to prevent spam).

Oh and,

One last point… Success!

If the monthly pot of money is ever to be revised and adjust upwards, and I sincerely hope it will be, we need the site to improve over time, and further improve our web stats, traffic, revenue, branding; whatever you can think of, really! The main responsibility for this rests with me and Brian.

However, I am going to tell you all some ways that you can help promote the site.

None of these measures are obligatory. However, if you opt-in, it would really help if you did some of these things. As the site gets more prosperous and higher profile, the likelihood of further improvements in the pot of money ought to increase substantially. And even if you don’t opt in to the rewards and incentives scheme, you might still be able to help the site improve its reach, popularity and income; if the site makes enough progress for us to further adjust the monthly pot of money, then your fellow contributors will benefit.

But how can you help?

Ha! I cheated a little here. Find out tomorrow!

–Wallace