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Every Woman Must Be Stoned (Iranian Bob Dylan Parody)

Every Woman Must Be Stoned (Iranian Bob Dylan Parody)

Girl, we’ll stone you because lesbians ain’t so good
We’ll stone you if you are Yazidis or Jews
We’ll stone you if you dare to leave your home
Or chat to boys without your chaperone
You’re bound to die friendless and all alone
Nobody will save you from getting stoned!

We’ll stone you, girl, for eating haram meat
Or drinking beer, O sad is your defeat!
We’ll stone you cos you’re an evil unfaithful whore
You might as well be an idolater of Bangalore
So I hope you know you’re all alone
Every bad girl must get stoned!

We’ll stone you when you complain about your rapist
We’ll stone you, girl, as fast as we able
We’ll stone you for that sneaky clandestine fuck
We’ll stone you and then behead you once for luck
Then they’ll stone you and then they’ll say “good luck”
Tell ya what, you needn’t try and weep and plead and moan
Every kaffir must get stoned!

We’ll stone you so you meet your grisly end
You’ll be dead until the Mahdi comes again
Then you will burn forever in the flames
For playing these promiscuous love games
I’ll be the proudest boy before the Throne
Every woman must get stoned!


This post was written by

- who has written 531 posts on

Sub-editor of Glossy News Contact me to pitch or submit your satire! You can buy my satire and poetry ebooks from many online stores, including Amazon.


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