Every Woman Must Be Stoned (Iranian Bob Dylan Parody)

Girl, we’ll stone you because lesbians ain’t so good
We’ll stone you if you are Yazidis or Jews
We’ll stone you if you dare to leave your home
Or chat to boys without your chaperone
You’re bound to die friendless and all alone
Nobody will save you from getting stoned!

We’ll stone you, girl, for eating haram meat
Or drinking beer, O sad is your defeat!
We’ll stone you cos you’re an evil unfaithful whore
You might as well be an idolater of Bangalore
So I hope you know you’re all alone
Every bad girl must get stoned!

We’ll stone you when you complain about your rapist
We’ll stone you, girl, as fast as we able
We’ll stone you for that sneaky clandestine fuck
We’ll stone you and then behead you once for luck
Then they’ll stone you and then they’ll say “good luck”
Tell ya what, you needn’t try and weep and plead and moan
Every kaffir must get stoned!

We’ll stone you so you meet your grisly end
You’ll be dead until the Mahdi comes again
Then you will burn forever in the flames
For playing these promiscuous love games
I’ll be the proudest boy before the Throne
Every woman must get stoned!

Author: Wallace Runnymede

Wallace is the editor of Brian K. White's epic website, Glossy News! Email him with your content at wallacerunnymede#gmail.com (Should be @, not #!) Or if you'd like me to help you tease out some ideas that you can't quite put into concrete form, I'd love to have some dialogue with you! Catch me on Patreon too, or better still, help out our great writers on the official Glossy News Patreon (see the bottom of the homepage!) Don't forget to favourite Glossy News in your browser, and like us on Facebook too! And last but VERY MUCH not the least of all... Share, share, SHARE! Thanks so much for taking the time to check out our awesome site!

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