Trump’s Apocrypha: The Lost Chapters of the Art of the Deal

Trump’s Apocrypha: The Lost Chapters of the Art of the Deal

The Art of the Deal originally was a much larger book; however, the dishonest fake news media, liberal Hollywood elites and DC Swamp managed to successfully suppress the very best chapters of the book.

In order to thwart this dastardly conspiracy, I’m providing you with some of the best business negotiation tactics that mainstream, weak, pathetic, crony-capitalist business folk are too stupid, naive and arrogant to put into practice; far less talk about it!

Grab ‘Em by the Pussy

Women in business, like women everywhere else in life, hate beta cucks.

If you want to make an impression on your next target, make sure you seize the initiative, and don’t be shy.

Women love a man who knows what he wants, and who ain’t ashamed to go get it!

Don’t Undersell Yourself: Boast Big!

All my haters are weak and never have any money.

Why?

Because they always give ‘the facts,’ and this is never appealing to a good negotiating target.

Give ’em some appealing alternative facts instead.

Trust me; they’re gonna love it!

Don’t Forget to Trash Talk Your Enemies and Rivals!

It’s absolutely impossible these guys could be doing better than you, unless they cheated. End of!

Make sure everyone knows how pathetic, thin-skinned, fragile, and narcissistic your enemies are!

A Family in Need is a Family with Greed!

Pathetic losers who whine about ‘corruption’ must have a lot of time on their hands.

Dems are always crying about ‘spreading the wealth around,’ and then you finally do spread the wealth around, to all your nearest and dearest (well, -ish!) they start shrieking about how greedy you are.

Well, there’s just no pleasing some people, is there!

Never Forget Your Haters are Weak, Pathetic Losers who are Just Trying to Break Your Flow!

Oh and by the way: so are you, if haven’t bought this book yet. Put the damn 2 dollar beer down and buy my stuff, you freakin’ idiot! My books are the best. Nobody never done good at words like the Donald. Tremendous! Incredible! Trust me, you’re gonna love it.

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- who has written 483 posts on GlossyNews.com.

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Contact me to pitch or submit your satire! wallacerunnymede@gmail.com
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