CNN Comes Out as Infotainment Outlet: “We Never Said We Were an ‘Information’ Source”

Classic middle class liberal establishment news network CNN has recently tried to defend its record in Beltway apologetics, anonymous-source-mongering, and ceaseless drum-banging.

Yes! You guessed it!

Have a look at our interview.

Wally: So, do you agree with the rumors you are a fake news outlet?

Phil McCracken: No. This is what people don’t understand. We’re purely an infotainment outlet.

Wally: OK. So you still provide real and true information, but in an entertaining way?… It’s hard to know which of these two things is less non-unconvincing.

Phil McCracken: No, you idiot! I said infotainment.

Wally: You got the power cut to your head son!

Phil McCracken: Less of that! You have no idea what we can do to you!

Wally: … K. How do you define infotainment?

Phil McCracken: Well, it’s information in the guise of entertainment.

Wally: OK, so you’re definitely, definitely not fake news then. Good to hear!

Phil McCracken: No, you idiot! … Stop triggering me, you’re confusing me.

Wally: OK. So… it’s entertainment in the guise of information, yeah?

Phil McCracken: Ah! Yes! You took the words right out of my mouth! We’re pretty funny guys! Look, I can the… er, uh, the funny things with the juggly aspirin, ya see…uh, the… um, Plan B? Wait what the f… Ah! Ya see?! Ha! Ha! Ha! Erm… Funny props at random for the… the l-l-laughs, ya see. Erm. Anyhoo!

Wally: So, we got the entertainment bit. … Ish. So, entertainment in the guise of information.

Phil McCracken: Well… uh, yeah. Duh!

Wally: “In the guise of information.” So you haven’t actually got any information at all? Does that make you fake news by any chance.

Phil McCracken: OK, drop the mic!

Wally: Enjoy your Plan B, brother.

Phil McCracken: I ain’t got one, boy! These are the only people that will hire me.

Wally: Always Fox News though, right?

Phil McCracken: JUST YOU WAIT TIL I…

[For some reason, the video mysteriously cuts at this very point].


Author: Wallace Runnymede

Wallace is the editor of Brian K. White's epic website, Glossy News! Email him with your content at (Should be @, not #!) Or if you'd like me to help you tease out some ideas that you can't quite put into concrete form, I'd love to have some dialogue with you! Catch me on Patreon too, or better still, help out our great writers on the official Glossy News Patreon (see the bottom of the homepage!) Don't forget to favourite Glossy News in your browser, and like us on Facebook too! And last but VERY MUCH not the least of all... Share, share, SHARE! Thanks so much for taking the time to check out our awesome site!