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Navy’s Modern Day ‘Mr. Roberts’ Gets the Heave Ho

Navy’s Modern Day ‘Mr. Roberts’ Gets the Heave Ho

Once news of a naval captain responsible for writing, filming and starring in raunchy videos broke on national news, opinions have emerged as to why he did it. While some naval personnel abhor his actions, many seamen who served under him are coming to his defense and calling him the best commanding officer they have ever had the pleasure of taking orders from.

While Captain Owen Honors isn’t saying much in defense of his actions, many are calling him a modern day Mr. Roberts after the lead character in the 1955 film of the same name, and even going so far as to give the Naval War Ship he commanded, the Enterprise, a nickname, i.e. “the Reprobate.”

Sailors on the Reprobate claim that their regular dose of raunchy videos supplied by their Captain speaks volumes of what a stand-up guy he really was. They claim that Honors’ favorite movie was [i]Mr. Roberts[/i], and he spoke often of wanting to be as well-liked as Lt. Roberts by his crew, while giving the screws to the upper brass. He was often quoted as saying “if I had a palm tree for every time I wanted to get back at the Admiral….”

Many claim that whatever Honors asked them to do, they did willingly and with a smile, whether it was swabbing the deck, simulating sex, or showering with bunkmates. “We did it to boost morale,” said Seaman Richard “Big Rick” Mason, one of many seamen who starred in the videos taped by Honors. “Mr. Honors, as he liked to be called, was different from the other officers. He brought himself down on our level, sometimes on all fours, as he liked to say, to help keep all of us in good spirits,” said Mason.

Many seamen claim that if anything, Honors should have been bumped up to Rear Admiral for his actions, an inside joke the sailors never seemed to tire of.

For his actions, Honors has been removed from duty, but many say that it is not the last we will see of him. “He has plenty of raw footage he’ll be taking with him,” said Chief Petty Officer James Bendover, another of Honors’ top performers.

“I wouldn’t be surprised that when all the smoke clears over this over-blown media blitz, you’ll see late night commercials for a new video series called “Seamen Gone Wild” and one way or the other, the morale of the Navy will continue on the uptick thanks to Mr. Honors.


This post was written by

- who has written 457 posts on

P. Beckert's is one voice vying for frequency room at the top of the opinion dial. Angered and bewildered by many of today’s events, P. Beckert uses humor as a tool to fight against an onslaught of stupidity and ignorance that seems to permeate the airwaves and pollute the sensitivities of a once brilliant nation. You can find more at


4 Responses to “Navy’s Modern Day ‘Mr. Roberts’ Gets the Heave Ho”

  1. This is a sharply paced, well written story. And ‘Owen Honors’ is one of those karmic names some get born with.

  2. P. Beckert says:

    Thanks for the nod. For me, this one wasn’t much of a stretch. And I agree about the name. (He owes someone some honor. ;-))

  3. Brian K. White says:

    I don’t get it. 🙁

  4. P. Beckert says:

    Don’t get what? Porn?


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