Hollywood, CA – If there is one thing you can say about the folks in Hollywood, it is the fact that they never miss an opportunity to capitalize on a new trend, even if it sometimes goes against everything they claim to believe in.
Case in point. With groups like the OpenCarry Movement taking center stage espousing their God-given rights to carry a weapon anyplace they darned well please, it just stands to reason that those folks are going to expect entertainment that they can relate to, i.e. movies about outlaws and guns. And who better to give it to them than the left-leaning liberals of Hollywood, right? I said right?
News just in: Remakes of the old favorite western television series Big Valley and Gunsmoke are set to hit the big screen soon and talk is that some of the most pro-active liberals on the Hollywood scene are being considered for the lead roles. So far, Susan Sarandon is on tap to play the lead role in Big Valley, and Brad Pitt and Ryan Reynolds may just have to have a shootout to determine which one of them will be the new Marshall Matt Dillon in Gunsmoke.
Makes us wonder why folks like James Woods, Kurt Russell, or Chuck Norris aren’t playing Matt Dillon and Bo Derek or Heather Locklear aren’t chomping at the bit to play the lead role in Big Valley or better yet, how about Patricia Heaton as Miss Kitty, as all of these actors’s political leanings are reportedly much more conservative and/or libertarian.
I mean, do you really think a die-hard Sarah Palin fan is going to go see a western with Susan Sarandon in the lead role? Or that anyone who idolizes Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck would ever consider a liberal Marshall Matt Dillon? Hell no. That’s like re-making the Rifleman with Woody Harrelson as the lead.
Hollywood has always been good at make-believe but with the political climate as it stands today, they are going to have to ramp it up a notch or two to serve up the unbelievable. We’re talking left-wing liberal actors and actresses who will need to be so good at their art that they can even get a far right-wing, gun-toting, Bible-thumping, revolutionary to cough up $15 bucks to sit through two hours of their best interpretations of Marshall Dillon and Miss Kitty.
It won’t be an easy feat, but then again, Hollywood doesn’t have too many other options because Clint Eastwood is getting up there in years, Mel Gibson has taken the happy train to Crazytown, and Kelsey Grammar, well, best he could probably deliver is a mediocre Doc Holliday.