Meet the Editors

Glossy News is unique in the satire world because every article we publish goes through multiple levels of editorial review. We’re like a lab of mad scientists dedicated to engineering the perfect satire. Our system allows us to workshop stories and discuss every aspect from the theme to the accompanying photo with such efficiency that we can still be first to press in many cases.

Well, we were. We’re looking to take on another editor or two to bring us back up to this level.

Take a minute to meet the editors:

Brian K. White – Mr. White launched Glossy News in 2002 with the simple desire of having an outlet for his own mad, satirical ramblings. Within months it had grown into a satire powerhouse, and since has grown to include more than 90 writers and over a dozen editors. Mr. White has published more than 5,000 articles since his career in journalism began, ranging from travel to technology to auto reviews, with plenty of humor in between to spackle the cracks. Mr. White has also authored some of the most widely-read hoaxes in recent years, which has earned him a brief role as the editor and publicity director for Brian White currently manages The Publicity Firm, a web design, hosting and promotion company, while working to develop a movie patent that he swears will change the film world as we know it, even on television. He still dedicates time to advance his first love of satire with editorial oversight and contribution to Glossy News.

Sean Meyers – Just stepped up at the end of August to take on a role of proofreader-in-chief… so if things aren’t quite up to snuff, that’s where your complaint needs to go. I can’t yet vouch for his skills, but I can tell you that as an author, he’s pretty awesome.

Erstwhile Editors

Mike Allison – Mr Allison is an underground freelance editor, typesetter and sometimes publisher. He originated Burning Eagle Books in the mid 1990s, which has since been the subject of a hostile takeover. He has wandered through the internet since 1992, while it was still overseen by the National Science Foundation and commercial sites were not allowed. He wrote briefly, in the mid 90s, for the internet magazine (the original) Payne News, which is now a shadow of it’s former self, having been the subject of of its own hostile takeover. Mr Allison is a former globetrotter (not a basketball showman, just a vagabond) and has made his way through the Middle East, North Africa, Mexico, Europe and walked through the streets of Detroit alone in the near dusk. In the analog world, Mike often enjoys his other passion – motorcycles – which, even more often, results in swearing and throwing tools. His next adventure is the Disciples of Speed website. But even he doesn’t know where that will go.

Patti Beckert – Ms. Beckert comes from a background in law where years and years in the legal field as a paralegal has seasoned her to become quite the eagle eye when it comes to spotting errors on the printed page. Now that she has her sights set on retirement, she realizes that it will take years to undo the anal qualities she developed over that time period. Although she’s dabbled in writing all her life, it’s not until recently that she started finding her voice in humor and satire. Lucky to have been brought into the Glossy fold, she now feels fortunate to be part of what she believes to be one of the best satire sites on the Web. Her main aspiration is to learn and grow as a humorist/satirist and hopefully someday be recognized for her achievements in writing. Ms. Beckert currently resides in the US with her Brazilian husband and 3 cats, after having recently spent two glorious years by the ocean in Southern Brazil. With retirement staring her in the face like an ugly buzzard, she and her husband hope to return to Brazil because let’s face it, when you can write anywhere in the world from a laptop, why not do it on a sunny Brazilian beach?

B.C. Bass – (no longer active) Mr. Bass writes stuff. Lots of stuff. He is paid to do this by organizations that should know better but have ostensibly given up on this whole integrity thing. Magazines, newswire services, government agencies, and large corporations have employed Mr. Bass to author articles, policies, business strategies, clever notes, screeds, graffiti, and fiction. Having cradled the dying head of Journalism in his hands before it expired, Mr. Bass now works as a senior editor for a large company you’ve probably heard of, overseeing what he likes to call “corporate porn.” Sometimes he re-writes the stuff other people who work for him write. Other times, he lords cruelly over their young writer lives with his evil red pen and closely guarded copy of the Chicago Manual. He’s a lot like Stalin, people suppose, but if Stalin were William Faulkner. Or like Mark Twain if he were a total corporate douche.

Phil Magitti – (No longer active) Phil Maggitti is a freelance writer and editor living happily ever after in a world of virtual reality with his wife, two pug dogs, a Boston terrier, four cats, and a constant supply of gummy worms. Mr. Maggitti has published eight books and more than 1,000-odd pieces, some odder than others, during the last twenty-eight years. His favorite color is faded; his favorite number has been disconnected; and his favorite television show has been canceled.

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