Categorized | War Zone, World News

Druids and Pagans Curiously Favourable Towards Islamic State / ISIS

Druids and Pagans Curiously Favourable Towards Islamic State / ISIS

Hamish Leonardo Kraftwerker Magee, Chief Druid of Dumfries, (previously known as Third Baron Trevelyan Montague of High Wycombe), has narrowly escaped being sent to Guantanamo Bay on the grounds of being a jihadist militant.
In in his inimitable Scottish brogue, he told me:
“Darling, I simply could not comprehend why they wished to put us on a plane and send us to some Cuban prison Wotan-knows-where. Simply piffle!
“Why, old bean, we were only going to visit our sister goddess in Egypt, ISIS. She is quite a favourite deity of mine, you know; us pagans are very tolerant of the deities of others…
“Apart from the deities of all those scummy Abrahamics of course, because they are all backward, reactionary and narrow-minded.
“Well, I wasn’t sure what the guns and all were about, I assumed it was merely some arcane and archaic ritual with phallic iron devices. It was only when we were captured and waterboarded…
“(Ew! Darling! It was totes improper, indeed!)…
“Yes, only then did I realise what a petit boo-boo one had made.
“Well, yes… apparently the ISIS that is being talked about in television is nothing whatsoever to do with my beloved and exalted Celestial Mother. I’m afraid that was something of a disappointment, as it were.”
He won’t be staying out of politics though. His Holiness is planning to channel the spirit of some left-wing economic genius such as Karl Marx, Leonid Brezhnev or maybe Harold Wilson (at a push)…
To help Ed Balls overcome his demons, and formulate a way to revive and heal the economy.
We asked Ed Balls if this is true, but he appeared unable to give us a clear, specific and concrete answer.
We expect that this augurs well for the future.

Originally published on The Spoof.

Image attribution: By Ace Rimmer (kn16ht) – Vlastní tvorba, CC BY-SA 3.0, Link


This post was written by

- who has written 549 posts on

Sub-editor of Glossy News. Contact me to pitch or submit your satire! You can buy my satire and poetry ebooks from many online stores, including Amazon. Make sure you like the Glossy News and Wallace Runnymede pages on Facebook!


Leave a Reply

We are also looking for a satire editor
and a Clever Photoshop Guru...
We Made a Movie!

Check us out on Kickstarter!

Glossy News Exclusive Exposés

-- (SEE ALL Videos) --

Glossy News Fake Commercials!

More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?

Our Top Authors (last 30-days)

All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial