A spontaneously assembled group of nations, tired of the constant turmoil coming out of Israel and Palestine, have built a wall entirely surrounding both lands. These countries, after attempting for years to introduce peace initiatives to both lands, finally reached the end of their patience and are no longer willing to put up with the bull headed, self centered attitudes of the leaders and people of both sides.
Sweden, Germany, Turkey, Saudi Arabia, England, France to name a few have pooled their resources, engineering and skills and have erected a twenty foot high fence with razor wire topping it to box both the countries and their troubles in to save the rest of the world from a migraine.
PHOTO INSERT: This is what the wall looks like just without all the greenery.
Spokesman for the coalition of International Nations Who Have Had It Up To Here, Mr. Hvvaan Verdleer of Finland had this to say, “We just don’t understand how this little bit of land, Israel and Palestine, not even the size of Sicily combined, hijacks so much of the world’s attention. So great a disproportionate emphasis is put upon this little piece of the world. There are worse conflicts going on in other parts of the world that no one seems to give a whit about.
What about the Congo, Sudan, Myanmar? If they were to get a dribble of the concern that the Holy Lands have gotten their crises would be over by now and they would all be having tea and crumpets together.”
Mr. Shatan Goobgeeb of India, a manager on the wall’s site, said “A lot of the trouble seems to be that Christian, Jewish and Muslim people around the world consider this a great Holy Land. This is a Holy Land? Constant petty strife, unnecessary violence, unending bickering and oppression? Why couldn’t God have been smarter and chosen someplace nice like Hawaii or Bali?
The world would have been a lot better for it than a place composed mostly of rocks, desert, salty lakes and bitchy people.”
The Americans meanwhile opposed the measure as they always do with things thought up by anyone but themselves, to which the team considered building a wall around the U.S. As well. It was then decided that America was doing a pretty good job of that themselves already. Mexico, also fed up, agreed to help build the wall from their side.
The originator of the wall, Herman Sneedly of Scotland, has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize and Knighted by the Queen of England for the effort. Perhaps he did not bring peace to the Holy Lands but definitely did bring it to the rest of the world.
Now that the wall is up ironically the Israelis now must dig tunnels under it to get supplies in just like the Palestinians had to do in Gaza under the Israeli armies eye. Meanwhile, the rest of the world is getting some much deserved sleep.
It’s actually one land, and one scenario leading to a final peace is brilliantly depicted in Jonathan Bloomfield’s award-winning book, “Palestine.”
I can understand that.
Or, better yet, just carpet bomb all of northern Illinois.
Few would be able to tell the difference afterwards.
When they get done with that one, can we start on a wall around Chicago?