Bono and Geldof ask Africa to save Ireland

Soweto: Irish pop stars Bob Geldof and U2’s Bono have announced their latest African tour for October of this year. The tour, aptly named “DebtAid” is set to raise funds and prevent famine in the recession-stricken Irish Republic.

“This time we’ve changed things slightly and decided to tour Africa in an effort to eradicate poverty in Ireland,” explained Bono, whose nation is sitting on a sovereign debt disaster, IMF loans totalling 85 billion Euro, a skilled worker exodus and an unemployment rate nearing 15%. “We’ve held dozens of events for Africa in the past. Ireland is as poor as any African nation right now and we think it’s time they gave something back…for thirty years they’ve been all take-take-take.”

The tour will begin in the more affluent African nations of Uganda, Burundi and Sierra Leone before finishing up in the other known cash-cows of Cameroon and Lesotho. Bono also hinted at an unscheduled stopover in Libya depending entirely on the political situation. “In many ways the Libyan people have it better than we do. Our tyrannical leaders don’t listen to us either, but we don’t live with the hope that a sea of oil brings,” explained the U2 front man, whose pretty green island is all but bereft of mineral wealth. A dreamy and reflective Bob Geldof agreed. “Charity doesn’t always begin at home. Please Africa. We helped you. My Mondays are getting worse.”