Prefatory note by Voltaire:
Eh bien! The following piece, it is all rather ornate-sounding. The artificial style and flamboyance of a pseudo-Parisian, or even a tinpot Hitchens knock-off.
Ah, Mesdames et Messieurs, please do not worry… the essay itself that the Monsieur Wallace is announcing, it will be much less artsy-fartsy. I believe he has drunk of the Anglo-Yuletide sherry, and so you should be so pleased as to not take the contrived style to heart! Next time, he will be more sober, but no less
swiftly,eh bien, Swiftly truthful!
I am running my serialization of Why Shouldn’t I Do God from 3-7 January: on Glossy News
This essay appeared in the original edition of the first volume of Wallace Runnymede Satire Catastrophes. The second edition comes out at the end of January 2016. The latter ebook was entitled I Shouldn’t Do God…
Thanks Alistair! The latter Notable-Public-Publicist being ever a source of wanton inspiration and flamboyantly articulate delight, as some will no doubt already be aware…
More soberly, though (and no less seriously), the essay Why Should I Do God may be of considerable interest to those who are not at all too slick and bien-pensant (de droite et de gauche!) to utter the immortal words:
Or dare I say it, Austianian? Because not unlike John Austin, the great professional master of language, they are rather taken up with ‘performance.’
Not the ‘performance’ of any true and legitimate and authentic artist, needless to say…
But merely play-actors and pantomime goons…
Ah me, this blessed UKIP in fedoras holy!
… Albeit, some would say utterly lacking the buffoonish charisma of Naughty Nigel and his merry band of bigots vanilla-rin-sed (sic!)
But then, a Regressive Leftist is just as stereotypically ‘white-middle-class-straight-male’ as any far-right populist hooligan and trickster.
Still, do you please do enjoy the essay serialisation…
It is of no value to the aching enlightened who wish to throw liberal Muslim reformers under the bus, but it will at least be an infernal irritant to the knuckle-dragging trolls and flouncing pseudo-intellectuals lately casting withered cattle-poxes of dua against Maajid Nawaz and anyone else who doesn’t fit the high theoretical and even existential standards of The Noble Liberal and his co-sycophants.
Of course, Nawaz is not a Noble Liberal. I value his words because he seeks truth and not a paltry glory. How many of his critics can say the same?
And more… can say it without a twinge in their gloriously beleaguered neck and heart!
Oh and as for the notion of the ‘co-sycophants’ of the Conspicuously Enlightened, the Regressive Left, the Repressive Left, the Oppressive Left, in a word, the Lettered and Deeply, Deeply Un-Spirited Left:
Well, who is the cup-bearer and who the glutton?
I cannot say. For, I am not of a dogmatic cast of mind.
And perhaps, as Foucault was so good to inform us, power is never wholly vertical; the mere jester’s slice between a sleek and polished top cat and a grubby underkitty.
And it does in any case appear (and in all!) that those who scratch every decent passerby at the drop of a furball are rather unwilling to conduct themselves consistently with their dreamish nightmare of an Eternal One & Eternal Other.
Enjoy my tribute to Charlie Hebdo.
And if you don’t enjoy it, enjoy my enjoying-your-not-enjoying-it, all the same.
My eyes grieve for the glorious martyrs slaughtered.
But my throat echoes still with the sneer of Voltaire and the blarney of Swift.
Schmuckmockers of the world, unite! We have nothing to lose but the brittle deadwood of the solemn that ever threatens to drag us beyond the wholesome mud to the pious inferno below.
Those who will not know the good health and worksomeness of ‘idle laughter’ shall have no seat at our table.
We do not forget…
And we do not forget to laugh.
And I will warn you sparsely mediocre myriads now and forevemore:
Perhaps you yourself may not have any interest in satire.
God love you…
But satire is interested in you!
ENJOY YOUR SYMPTOM