Donald Trump Bursts

U.S. president Donald Trump has sensationally burst during a Washington press conference. Trump’s over-inflated ego finally caused him to erupt in an anatomical flare-up. The president was seen puffing up prior to the rupture contingency; as he threatened to destroy North Korea, in an egotistical rant.

Journalist John Hamilton commented:

I was sat in the front row of the conference when the president’s ego caused him to burst completely. As a journalist I’m often accused of over-dramatizing a story, but I’m not exaggerating when I tell you that Trump’s body parts and internal organs detonated like a filthy volcano of muscle pus in a scum orgy from hell. I was hit with a manic flesh discharge of slimy skin and bone frenzy slop – splattered with a sludge spurt of gooey waste in a chronic swill that belonged inside the devil’s bowels.

Hamilton went on –

In the aftermath of the tragedy, a Fox News reporter tried to interview
me. He had the nerve to ask me, “What’s that hanging from your tie then?”
I told him “Well obviously, it’s the president’s prostate. What do you think
it is – his anus?”

That’s the trouble with presidents that splatter their insides all over you at press conferences: you always get a reporter asking you dumb questions. I yelled at the reporter:

“Get the hell out of here! Come back and interview me when you’ve properly researched the prostate gland and how it’s able to stick to a neck tie as a consequence of a presidential
burst!”

It’s such a sad day for the world, but not necessarily for the entire population of Planet Earth.

Image attribution:

By Michael Vadon (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0], via Wikimedia Commons

Author: Stephen Philip Druce

Stephen Philip Druce is a spoof/satire article writer from Shrewsbury in the UK. He has previous publications with The Lemon Press, News Mutiny, The Daily Squib, The Inconsequential, Web-E-Books (USA), The Druids Loom and Bad Scents Of Humour. For updates on Stephen’s humour articles, follow him on Twitter - @DruceStephen.

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