I SHOT AN ARROW
I shot an arrow
Into the air
It came down
And pegged a hare.
My rifle I shot so straight and true
And brought me down a caribou.
Moose when they see my trail they quake
Ptarmigan their feathers shake.
Full grown bears will turn and run
When they see my Remington.
The creatures know
I’m somewhat prone
To leave them dead,
Their brains out-blown.
To run, now some will not even bother,
They stand stock still, scared to the bone,
It’s because I’m the biggest Mother,
That their woods have ever known.
MIRROR, MIRROR
Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Who’s the grandest of us all?
I’ve seduced McCain, become his Queen
And before the world am now seen.
My realm has grown from Alaska land
To encompass Maine to Rio Grande.
I’m so hot Ted Nugent wants to do me
And yet the Democrats eschew me.
I’m so hot the firemen douse me
When old men try to accost me.
I know now it’s all a game,
A strive for glory, power and fame.
Shake all hands and smile a lot,
Make sure chickens are in every pot.
But I will play a little dumb
And wait for my chance to come
And go hell bent for broke
Should ever the old geezer croak.
SOFUSTICATED
On me you must have pity,
I am not from the big city.
Sophistication is an art
I have not yet gart.
I’ve never had Chablis,
Modern art still eludes me.
But don’t you get rude,
Or even a little bit crude
Or I will show you some talent
From my side of the planet,
You’ll be field-dressed and gutted
And as a last touch- denutted.
————————————————
Said a young lass from Alaska
“If I want yer opinion I’ll ask ‘ya!”
A maverick she was
With justifiable cause
Her very own party
Had treated her farty
So she said, “If ‘ya screw me then I’ll blast ‘ya!”