Bill Clinton has stuck his stiff neck above the parapet and wantonly defamed Newt Gingrich for his ISIS apologism.
Don’t vote for this cynical, Mafiaesque “contract-killing” bastard, if he ever runs for office.
Yeah, vote for someone really good, like…
Say, Bernie Sanders.
Or better still, Elizabeth Warren.
Or, hell, I don’t know. I guess pretty much anyone you can think of who isn’t a Republican, really.
I mean, I frickin’ couldn’t care less, as long as it’s not some stupid GOP hooligan.
Clinton was referring to Gingrich’s recent speech to the Republican Infowars-Breitbart Caucus.
Contract for ISIS
Look, you’ve guessed it. I’m an ideas man.
So I can’t be entirely dismissive of opposing points of view.
Now, you probably won’t die of surprise if I tell you we’ve got ourselves two hardline, deeply entrenched, rigidly dogmatic positions.
Firstly, there are those who (admittedly in accordance with their purely human and fallible lights) proclaim that the Islamic State is the eternal token of the grace and benevolence of God.
The immortal testimony to the everlasting compassion and love of the Creator for his children.
The one and only way under Heaven to the eternal bliss and brotherly communion of all humanity; in this present world and also in the glorious and blessed paradise that one day awaits all God’s aching and tearful children of the future glory.
Well, for sure, they’re entitled to their opinion about this. Freedom of speech and toleration is what America is all about.
And on the other hand, there’s an equally plausible and entertainable opinon. There are those who somehow just think ISIS are just jackbooted thugs who go around massacring innocent people. Butchering, torturing, you name it!
Yup! Just utter hooligans and violent filth. The worst kind of repugnant, hell-bound mass-murdering scum you can ever hope not to meet!!!
And we can’t be completely dismissive of that view either, right?
Well, do you see where I’m going with this?
No? Not this time?
OK, well here’s a surprise. It is my most sincere and principled conviction (not to mention pragmatic!) that there’s just so much mutual mudslinging and the politics of disagreement here, I just don’t know how we are going to make progress on this issue unless there’s a bit of give and take.
And on that thoroughly non-partisan note, President Obama agrees with me 100% on this issue:
Psst… I just complimented him by calling him the ‘President.’ Make sure you acknowledge that. We don’t want any misunderstandings or arbitrary accusations of partisanship.
Because, if you haven’t already noticed (and I’m certainly not saying you haven’t), the evil liberal media keep accusing me of talking down to this guy, and we don’t want to give them any undue encouragement. 😉
So anyway, we need a brotherly-consensual, mutually accountable and egalitarian contract of political, economic and spiritual friendship with ISIS.
Yes. Let’s normalize diplomatic relations with them, trade with them, arrange regular educational and cultural exchanges.
And ideally, we can get some socially conscious clerics to come here and do poverty, chastity, abstinence and obedience counselling at bargain salary rates.
… Oh, almost forgot! Most importantly of all, let’s open up the markets!
Then, hopefully, we’ll see a comprehensive democratic transition in the next few days, weeks or maybe months, at the very most, yada yada yada.
And all because of the liberty and equality that the free market inevitably and by definition will bring to all of those who overcome their erstwhile hidebound prejudices against the truth.
However, in keeping with his notorious wide-famed attitude of principled (-ish) pragmatism, it appears that Gingrich has eventually changed his tune on this uncongenially contentious and divisive issue.
See next instalment.