It Turns Out That Everything Is Obama’s Fault

It seems as if Barack Obama is getting blamed for everything. The Republicans are blaming him for every foreign hotspot including Iraq, Ukraine and Israel.

Every domestic problem also seems to be the President’s doing, so much so that the Republicans led by Speaker of the House John Boehner even launched a lawsuit against him.

At first, I thought all this was overkill. After all, how can one man be responsible for so many things going wrong? But then it occurred to me: the Republicans are on to something good here. It’s kind of like the dog-ate-my-homework all-purpose excuse – Obama did it.

So now I’ve jumped on the bandwagon and am prepared to let Barack Obama take the heat for anything unpleasant in my life. For example, I’m not happy at work. My job sucks, my boss is a tyrant and I dread the next few years until I can retire.

Clearly it’s not my fault that I’m stuck in this horrible situation. So whose fault is it? You got it; it’s Obama’s fault. If he would just get off his backside and get the economy moving again, things would pick up at my company, my boss would get promoted to the head office and I’d get to work for somebody reasonable.

My kid is a terror. He won’t do anything I tell him and his performance at school is abysmal. I used to think I had something to do with this problem but it turns out I don’t. You guessed right; it’s Obama’s fault.

Who’s the guy who promised a big overhaul in our educational system? Who was going to recruit more teachers, pay them more and institute stricter standards for pay raises? Obama, that’s who. If my kid’s failing at school, I don’t have to look any further than the guy in the Oval Office to know who to blame.

My wife can’t stand me. She thinks that I should be sharing the household chores and not spending so much time watching TV and drinking beer. Thanks again, Obama. Wasn’t it you who promised women equal wages and a more equitable sharing of domestic chores? Listen pal, that’s your problem, not mine. And if my wife wants to point the finger at someone for this situation, she should remove it from my face and start shaking it in front of your schnozz.

The family dog’s no picnic these days either. He’s getting old, starting to come down with new ailments and racking up more vet bills than a three-legged pig. That’s just the way it is, you say? No way. This is Obama’s fault. He promised health care coverage for everyone and I don’t recall him exempting dogs from that promise. How come the Affordable Care Act doesn’t cover pets? I dunno; why don’t you ask Obama?

And then there’s my neighbor. He says the pine tree in our backyard is overhanging his back lawn and killing the grass. He also says our common fence is an eyesore and is insisting that I share the cost of replacing it.

You know who I blame? I blame Obama and I’ll tell you why. Ever since he got into office, he’s been soft on our enemies and one of those enemies is my neighbor. In fact, I’m beginning to think my neighbor is an out and out terrorist and we all know what Obama said he’d do to terrorists. Come on Obama; it’s time to step up to the plate and do the right thing. I suggest you start right here at 437 Pleasant Valley Drive.