Mitch McConnell Totally “¿Amores?” Minority Voters

Another Mitch McConnell campaign video Fact-Checked, another one rated 100% True!, depending on how you feel about beige people.

We’ve already fact-checked his Mitch McConnell Supports Women and Mitch Supports your Big Business of Every size, and found them to be true, so this comes as no surprise.

As the senior senator from Kentucky, which is inexplicably still a state, Mitch McConnell gets the chance to vote on all sorts of things that touch your daily life.

He can choose to side with the common folk, or choose to side with the mega-corps who fund his campaign. Mitch is no fool, he makes the right choice!

Every single bill and amendment cited in the article is 100% true and accurate, and we’ve provided the links below for you to double-check our math.

Watch the video, then scroll down for the fact check

Mitch Votes Against Legal Emigrants

• Mitch voted against the S Amdt 3840 – Public Assistance to Legal Immigrants Amendment, as well as the;
S Amdt 3820 – Legal Immigrants Assistance Eligibility Amendment which would have enabled legal immigrants to get the same beneftis as natural born citizens.
• Mitch also voted against the S 2205 – DREAM Act.

Mitch Keeps Voting to Help You People Speak Freaking English

S Amdt 1151 – Declaring English the National Language
S Amdt 4064 – English As National Language Amendment
S Amdt 1384 – English as the Common Language
S Amdt 4073 – English as Unifying Language Amendment

Mitch Believes That, Now That You’re Here, We Should Make the Border Fence Medievally Formidable

S Amdt 3117 – Border Fence and Customs Appropriations
S Amdt 2480 – Border Fence and Customs Appropriations
S Amdt 4231 – Immigration Enforcement and Border Fence Amendment
HR 6061 – Secure Fence Act of 2006
S Amdt 1197 – Requires the Completion of the Fence Along the United States-Mexico Border
S Amdt 1399 – Requiring Completion of Reinforced Border Fencing
S Amdt 4659 – Double-Layered Fencing Amendment
S Amdt 4775 – Triple-Layered Fencing Amendment

Mitch Supports Your Right to Work, but Not Your Boss’s Right to be Punished for Knowingly Hiring Illegals

• He voted against S Amdt 2405 – REAL ID funding
• He voted against S Amdt 4177 – Employer Verification Amendment and S Amdt 3258 – Temporary Farm Workers Amendment and S Amdt 4259 – Immigration Enforcement and Employer Sanctions Amendment which would have put you on the hook for knowingly hiring illegals.
• He even voted for S Amdt 1316 – Five Year Expiration for Guest Worker Program which made it so that “temporary” foreign workers can stay here, in your employ, for more than five years. Surely you can’t find a democrat who would permit this.

Summary…

If you’re anything less white than eggshell, snow or Chapstick, you should still vote for Mitch McConnell. Not because he cares about you, but because he doesn’t in the way all of our parents didn’t. My mom never loved me right, but I still love her. You should vote for him out of the same Stockholm Syndrome sort of victim-hood.

Author: Brian White

Brian first began peddling his humorous wares with a series of Xerox printed books in fifth grade. Since then he's published over two thousand satire and humor articles, as well as eight stage plays, a 13-episode cable sitcom and three (terrible) screenplays. He is a freelance writer by trade and an expert in the field of viral entertainment marketing. He is the author of many of the biggest hoaxes of recent years, a shameful accomplishment in which he takes exceptional pride.