South Carolina senator, and future gay rights activist, Lindsey Graham broke from his conservative party today with the unusual move of replacing the “truck balls” on his SUV with “truck ovaries” to show support for women’s rights.
Truck balls as you are most likely aware, are a common sight in backward redneck areas of the country. They are used to signify maleness by those who aren’t secure in their own sexual identity. Many of these men are eventually discovered tea bagging their Toyotas in the remote areas of their home towns.
RIGHT: Senator Lindsey Graham Describing The Inside Of His Closet
The sale of truck ovaries is a recent phenomenon in the deeper parts of the south where the sale is limited to mostly secretive gay bars and lesbian establishments.
Senator Graham ceremonially cut the simulated male organs from the required tow hitch during a quickly scheduled press conference and firmly attached the ovaries in their place declaring, “Now is the time to show support for females in our society. We can no longer drive around and ignore the suffering that they have constantly been under during our war on their bodies.”
Asked why he chose ovaries instead of a more distinct object such as the vagina, Senator Graham stated, “My own personal experience has shown that you don’t need to have a vagina on your rear end in order to have fun. This isn’t a case of “Rage out with your vayg* out!”
He also asked that the many folks who question his commitment, respect, and lack of attraction to women to please remember this episode when he desperately needs their vote in future elections.
* We have deduced this to mean vagina, in the clinical sense, though there is also speculation that it may mean vagina in the street sense, in which case we have no idea what that means.