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Bikers Ride Whole Hog for NRA

Bikers Ride Whole Hog for NRA

WASHINGTON DC–Motorcycle clubs across America have accepted the challenge to protect this country’s schools.

NRA executive vice president Wayne LaPierre recently stated an armed police officer be placed in every school.

America’s bikers have stepped up in “whole hog” support.

“Hell, I’ll ride up bright and early before first bell, proudly wearing school colors against my own,” stated a biker who identified himself as a Hells Angel, although proof of membership was not provided at time of interview.

When asked by this reporter if he or his gang brethren could pass a school volunteer background check permitting him campus access and association with students, the biker just laughed. “Darlin’, I don’t tutor. I ride perimeter.”

Mr. LaPierre—who displays an annoying habit of closing his eyes in reverent fashion when discussing firearms–recently attributed everything but access to assault weapons as responsible for creating a culture of violence in the United States. He advocated active and retired police officers, military veterans and private security guards be consulted and instrumental in the development of school protection plans.

LaPierre did not respond to questions regarding the chances a lone school resource officer stood against a lowered assault rifle by a gunman intent on inflicting mass harm.

Assault rifles were banned in the United States until 2004 when magically, the federal ban expired under the George W. Bush administration.

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3 Responses to “Bikers Ride Whole Hog for NRA”

  1. Roger Freed says:

    The school cop thing would only benefit LaPierre if people fell for it. They would sell more guns, people might shut up and they could push the sale of weapons meant to kill a maximum amount of enemy combatants that instead would be sold into a passive society.

  2. David says:

    Great article, you write well. I’m not a gun person. I don’t own one, nor have I ever, and have no desire to. Therefore, it doesn’t apply to me and I don’t really care. I don’t like to play volleyball either so I don’t care about it either. Guns, volleyballs, they’re just objects I don’t care for.

    But Wayne and the members of the NRA passionately care for their objects. There is a kid of romantic association with guns and the event or sport of gun owning. -That’s not really a sport, but they have a lot of freakin’ magazines about it.- I wonder if they treat their romantic relationships like objects, with no feelings or needs.

    Interestingly enough, there is a condition called paraphilia (from Greek para = beside and -philia = friendship, or love), and it describes this odd, sensual arousal to objects and situations. While the pathological extent of this disorder is debated and not clearly defined, there is general consensus that considers this a psychological disorder when it “causes harm to others”. Hasn’t the paraphilia of the NRA and the constitutionally ignorant 2nd Amendment crowd, proven itself to cause harm to others?

    When Wayne La Pierre addresses his paraphilia, seeks and then follows a sound treatment protocol, fully recovers, and then encourages his membership to do the same, then we may be able to rationally come to a sound gun policy.

    Oh, wow! I wrote this entire comment about Wayne’s objectum sexuality and I totally spaced the whole gun metaphor. I must now go consult my Freud texts for more potential diagnoses.

  3. Sheree says:

    Great comment and Freud for thought.

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