TALLAHASSEE–Allen West conceded today that life was way too short to sit back and count votes.
The defeated GOP incumbent congressman from Florida has decided instead to toss the political towel to newly elected Patrick Murphy, Democrat, freeing West to follow his life dream to become a member of the official University of Florida dance team, the Dazzlers.
“I dazzled the Tea Party. Time for me to bedazzle the Dazzlers with my signature high step while simultaneously taking in a bit of college B-ball for a conservative cost of absolutely f-r-e-e. Go Gators!” said West, clapping his arms in the signature U.F. gator chomp while twirling an arabesque.
The University of Florida Athletic Association would neither confirm or deny if West was under consideration as a walk-on Dazzler. Per the UF website , “… the Dazzlers travel with the men’s and women’s basketball teams to the Southeastern Conference basketball tournaments … (and) to the NCAA tournaments.”
At absolutely f-r-e-e, no cost to the taxpayer.
West would be the first male to bare midriff as a Dazzler.
Sort of gives new meaning to March Madness.