KENTUCKY – Following his televised debate with Vice President Joe Biden Thursday, Mitt Romney’s running mate Paul Ryan insisted: “must not look weak, must not look weak, must not look weak.”
Adopting a serious tone during post-debate festivities, the 42-year-old said it was absolutely vital that he refrain from breaking down in uncontrollable tears after what, after all, was a healthy debate with Mr. Biden.
“Be a man, Paul Ryan,” Mr. Ryan repeatedly told himself backstage, while violently slapping his face. “Crying is a sign of weakness. Pull yourself together and show those motherfuckers who is boss. No one messes with Paul “The Muscle Machine” Ryan.”
“I’m a tiger, damn it,” he continued, as campaign advisers asked, from behind his dressing room door, if he was alright.
According to several news correspondents on the scene, the Wisconsin congressman further proceeded to rip off his suit jacket in a moment of “intense emotional abandon”, in which Mr. Ryan was heard whispering the words: “I won’t fail you, daddy. I won’t fail you.”
Why is his brow always furrowed? I saw the flexing muscle pics. Yeah, not 6% bodyfat. But the again he didn’t run the marathon in the time he said he did so he’s just as much a liar as Romney.
I think Paul needs a pep talk from Charlie Sheen.