DANVILLE, KENTUCKY- The Vice Presidential debate was a dramatic stage set for two men who would be a heart beat away from the highest office. It culminated in a speech by Vice President Biden, about a high school football game in which he excelled.
“So there we were, end of the fourth quarter, third and long. Any other team would have given up, but not us,” explained Biden as he looked in to the camera.
Paul Ryan was seen looking aimlessly in to the eyes of Joe Biden, as he tried finding a valid argument as to the relevance of the anecdote. There was none to be had. The nation had been seduced by the story, including Romney’s running mate.
“It’s like it encapsulated what we’re all fighting for,” said Ryan. “I guess if football were comparable to tax cuts for the elite and an end to collective bargaining, which the NFL has covered.”
As Ryan tried to rebuttal, Biden interrupted by reminding the public that Mormons don’t play football.
Paul Ryan tried to fight back with a detailed explanation of his work out regiment, caloric intake, and even going so far as to flexing, to no avail.
Although both men were staring intensely in to the eyes of moderator Martha Raddatz, the rhetoric was aimed at the public at large. Sources cannot confirm or deny images of Biden leaving her hotel room later on that night.
When asked about his performance after the debate, Vice President Biden responded “You think this is the first young hot shot to come up and contest this?” Biden Says while pointing to himself. “ I’ve been swooning hard-assed journalist moderators for years. I can make a swivel chair more damp than a date with Ted Kennedy.”
He went on to add, “What does pretty boy got? Abs? Pshhh, any one with a free afternoon can do enough sit ups. It takes a real man to show what he’s made of. Don’t bring a knife to a gunfight.”
Joe Biden’s inspirational narrative is currently in the works to becoming a full length Disney feature. The elements of overcoming an intolerant community with the power of equality, accepting, and perseverance despite slim odds were a perfect fit for Disney’s next harrowing sports movie to star Denzel Washington as Biden’s coach.
When asked about the outcome of the debate, presidential candidate Mitt Romney said that he “would watch that movie.”
Reporters asked President Obama how he thought his Vice President handled himself against the intellectual republican. After putting his head in his hands, he sighed heavily and said “I’ve heard that story so many times. I can’t believe he pulled it out again. You don’t know how many dignitaries we have had over for dinner, and after Joe challenges them to an arm wrestling contest, he tells that same story.”
The media has become fascinated with Biden’s strategy. Not being left out of the loop, the Romney camp is already releasing information about how many potentially dangerous hooks Romney overcame and scored the penalty shot to win games on the polo grounds of Michigan.
You don’t mess with Uncle Joe! Ryan would have to actually be able to run a 2 minute mile to beat him.
Perfect