An independent group of concerned citizens is demanding that Donald Trump make his birth certificate public to prove that he is not really a space alien from another planet.
Concerns from the United Citizens Group For Raising A Fuss has been voicing doubts about the mega-billionaire, saying that Trump continually exhibits signs that he is not really from planet Earth.
The United Citizens Group For Raising A Fuss (which I am going to do us a favor and call the UCGFRAF from now on to save us all eyestrain) cites the non-human hair follicles that Mr. Trump sports on top of his head as proof, and suspect that this is the actual alien and that the rest of the body is just a humanoid mock-up to make him fit in better with the rest of us.
They also point out his ironclad ego and his seemingly endless self-esteem, as well as his satisfaction in demeaning and controlling those lesser humans around him that he finds annoying, as further proof of his extraterrestrial nature.
Much commentary is made of his “unearthly” and “exotic” (gaudy) taste in architecture and its décor. “I would dare to say it is other worldly,” stated UCGFRAF chairman Many Elsenwipe who is an interior decorator and a bit astral himself. “He must be from Uranus or something,” sniggered Elsenwipe who then laughed himself silly at his own witticism.
Some critics have also pointed out his ex-wife’s weird name (Ivana) but research had determined that it is just because she is Czech.
Conservative reactionaries rant that this is really a liberal reaction to those questioning Obama’s birth certificate which the left says is a reaction to their roasting Bush Junior which conservatives say is a reaction to their witch hunting Bill Clinton which liberals say is a reaction to the gonad-ripping Bush the First got which goes on forever and ever and I am getting a headache and am stopping writing about it now.
Military research people from the Department of Checking Every Little Bit of Silliness for Evidence of Alien Infiltration on Earth (Yet another acronym that needs to be reduced down to a simple DOCELBOSFEOAIOE) have been following Mr. Trump secretly and are troubled by the number of trips he has made to Roswell, New Mexico over the years.
That and the fact that they are creeped out by the fact that his hairpiece always seems to turn around on his head and stare at them when they shadow him.
Meanwhile, the hairpiece has put in its own bid for the U.S. Presidency.
This man scares me. How in the hell did he ever get so rich and powerful?
This is stupid. CLEARLY Trump is not a space alien.
He’s just controlled by one. That symbiote living on his head has clearly taken full control. No human could ever be so obtuse as Trump.