President Obama, in a desperate bid to gain the following of on-the-fence Independent and Republican beer drinkers, has revealed the secret recipe for White House Honey Brown Ale.
Throughout the past three years the White House has been manufacturing the brew in a secret location on the White House grounds.
Several online petitions have been sent to the White House demanding the recipe, though White House aides have been tight-lipped.
“The recipe has been a closely guarded secret until now,” said White House brew-master Sergio Valenza. “I was hoping this would not become a campaign issue.”
Republican-Mormon Mitt Romney soundly denounced the White House beverage. “Beer is the devil’s work!” Romney screamed. “Under my administration there will be no beer drinking and I will ask Congress to reinstate the 18th Amendment!”
The 18th Amendment called for prohibition of alcohol in the United States except for religious and medical reasons.
“And there are no medical or religious reasons for consuming devil’s brew!” Romney declared.
Obama claims that beer drinking and the consumption of alcoholic beverages is an “inalienable right” and is an ingrained part of American culture. “If not for beer drinking we would not have the America we know and love,” the President stated at an Iowa campaign rally.
The President further stated that he will purchase a frothy brew for every American who votes for him.
“And coffee or another beverage for those that don’t drink beer for religious or medical reasons.” Obama clarified.
I suspect you are confusing satire with truth, or, dare I say, fantasy with reality. Granted, Mitt is a low-life scum but that is not the purpose of this article 😉
No, no!
You are confusing Obama with Dick Cheney.
They really do look different, but I understand the confusion.
Is this a contrived “anti-religious statement” against Mitt Romney. This administration tends to “politicize” every thing that comes down the road. I think it is a sorry state of affairs, that we are now using beer to win in a national election.
“And there are no medical or religious reasons for consuming devil’s brew!” Romney declared.
I feel that President Obama has little or no respect for those that oppose his ideas. He is not a “give and take” type of individual, in my opinion.
The White House brews its German lager a little differently, there is an additional technique called ‘krausening,’ the final step of the brewing process in which Joe Biden pees in the vat just prior to bottling.