Romney Campaign Wants Your Suggestions. What Are You Waiting For?

The Romney campaign has taken the bold step of allowing for suggestions to come in through their website. What could possibly go wrong?

Do you have a message you’d like to send to Mitt Romney? I bet you could send him a real zinger, if you try.

Here are some ideas as to what you might suggest to Mitt Romney’s campaign, if you feel so inclined.

RIGHT: Mitt Romney has such big ideas contained in his big, big head… don’t tell that to his face. (CLICK TO ENLARGE)

1 – Release the tax returns immediately, you have nothing to hide.

Why wouldn’t you? You’ve done nothing wrong, so just release them. It’s not like your tax returns raped and murdered a girl in 1990.

2 – Disavow the untrue attack ads.

You know, like the “Obama wants to take work out of welfare” line, or the “Obama cut $700 billion from Medicare” lies. Those were both pretty ugly, and patently untrue, so just disavow them.

3 – Take a stance on something.

So far you’ve only been willing to take both stances on things. Grow a pair and take one stance on a thing. Doesn’t matter who you’re talking to, just speak the truth.

4 – Tell us about the planet you’ll inherit in heaven when you die.

I’m sure it’s nothing short of awesome, so tell us about the planet you’ll get in Mormon heaven after you shuffle off the mortal coil. Us protestants and atheists will be mad jealous and vote for you just because of that.

5 – Explain why it’s okay to offshore jobs.

What’s good for the gander is sauce for the gaggle, or something like that. If you made profit from it, it’s all-American and good for everybody, so just own it and explain it. We’re not that simple, we’ll understand.

6 – Unveil your bundlers.

These are true patriots, these guys that are vacuuming up mad stacks of Benjamins for your cause. They deserve credit for all they’ve done, so please name these bundlers. Sure, it might look bad when we see what industries they come from, but the American people will still support you, and respect you even more, through all of it. After all, you’re still white.

7 – Own the Ryan Budget

You already have, by virtue of taking him on, so go full-Ryan and own it. Admit that you’ll slash budgets and cut taxes on the super-rich to less than 1%. There’s no shame in it, it’s obviously your platform. Just own it.

So if you’ve got questions or suggestions for Mitt Romney, please go to his campaign suggestions page and share your thoughts with him. And share your thoughts in the comments below.