Washington, D.C. – A top Obama aide called Bob van der Valk today to ask him to consider replacing Vice President Joe Biden, claims the author of the New York Times bestseller “The Amateur.”
Efforts to reach the potential new Vice Presidential nominee were met with “No comment”, when he answered the phone at his home in Terry, Montana.
The suggestion to pick Bob van der Valk, who lacks having any experience on every level of holding this important national office, was made by the President’s advisors.
RIGHT: Van der Valk and Obama, together and delighted. (click to enlarge photo)
It will to lay to rest the rumors now circulating around the White House about possible replacements of Biden, according to author Ed Klein.
“As recently as a couple of weeks ago, the White House was putting out feelers to see if Hillary Clinton was interested in replacing Joe Biden on the ticket,” per Klein. Van der Valk was seen as a compromise showing President Obama is willing to reach across the aisle and pick a Reagan conservative to be his running mate on the Democratic Presidential ticket.
The official announcement is expected to be made at the Democratic National Convention, in which delegates of the Democratic Party will choose the party’s nominees for President and Vice President in the 2012 national election. It is scheduled to be held during the week of September 3, 2012 in Charlotte, North Carolina with the vote for Vice President pick to be conducted on September 6, 2012.
Brian – Thanks for your vote of confidence. I have been forced by the media, which has been parked on my door step since last Friday after the word leaked out from the White House, to come out of the closet and declare my willingness to accept my call to duty.
I promise more jokes and gaffes in the next four years if I am elected. In fact I will have the White House staff in stitches so much they won’t be able to get any work done.
This ticket will shake up the Washington political establishment to its core. My first order of business will be to cancel Meatless Mondays at the USDA and White House cafeterias.
The official new campaign slogan will be Bob, Barack and Beyond!
There will be a Chevy Volt in every garage and a Chik-Fil-A in every pot.
Our campaign bumper sticker will be: “Give me ambiguity or something else!”
Our campaign theme song will be the Elvis rendition of “Viva Viagra”.
I further pledge not to post any shirtless pictures of myself during this campaign. Use your imagination and think of some other guy like Ryan Lochte if you want to know what I look like without my shirt on.
Bob’s got my vote. He’s exactly what we need. A smart, sane, sound, sage, slick smartass.