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Barack Obama Admits Hunting Bigfoot, “Grazing” Him

Barack Obama Admits Hunting Bigfoot, “Grazing” Him

CHICAGO, Ill. (Glossy News) — Career urbanite and now President, Barack Obama, spoke before a group of hunters and outdoors-men in Boise, Idaho, in an attempt to solidify support from the over 225 million Americans who own firearms and of those who hunt.

Obama chose Boise because, in the words of his aide, “Mr. Obama wanted to return to the area where he hunted and killed Bigfoot on his last big game hunting expedition.”

The news falls in step with recent revelations about Barack Obama’s “new found support” for hunting, fiscal constraint, firearm ownership, anti-Islamic support, oil exploration in Yellowstone Park, whale hunting, and free Botox for the homeless. Obama’s broad reaching statements were an attempt to reach the last undecided citizens in an effort to solidify support for his failing health care initiative, which has polarized voters who were diffident in the mid-term elections but who may be more unforgiving in the 2012 presidential race.

To sum things up for the media, Obama’s press secretary said, “Look, Barry is for everything this coming year!”

Even the choice of “Barry” is an attempt by the Administration to put a more American face on a president who’s very citizenship credentials are challenged by a growing number of “Birthers” that claim Obama is an illegal alien.

When queried about the actual killing of the elusive Bigfoot, and where the carcass might be stored, Mr. Obama claimed he really didn’t kill the elusive Yeti, but wounded him in the arm. He tearfully expressed his sorrow for wounding the beast as a camera crew from PETA caught the confession.

When the extremist animal rights crew left, Obama turned his attention to journalists who were setting up to record his hunting statements. Reporters pressed him for more details about his hunting exploits. Questions ranged from “Where did you hunt in Chicago” to “What caliber bullets did you use in your shotgun?”

Mr. Obama stumbled on the last question and had to ask an aide what a shotgun was.

The aide hastily produced a Bass-Pro hunting catalog and showed Obama a picture of a Daisy BB gun, which the smiling head of state confidently identified as the type of weapon with which he shot Bigfoot.

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This post was written by

- who has written 119 posts on GlossyNews.com.

Hello, I'm Bargis Tryhol and currently live somewhere in the southern part of the USA. I have been writing humor for quite a few years and love to make fun of the liberals who in recent years seem to be falling by the wayside in droves. My online following is fairly large now, so a big 'shout out' to all who have embraced my lopsided humor. I do appreciate the support. You can visit my website Satire World for more outrageous humor.... SatireWorld.com Comments or retribution? Bargistryhol@aol.com

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13 Responses to “Barack Obama Admits Hunting Bigfoot, “Grazing” Him”

  1. rfreed says:

    Remember what I said about the right using constant negative attacks to knock someone down? Here is an example.
    All the gun people put out all this s**t about how Obama was going to take their guns away and built this whole mythology around it and I have not seen an iota about him ever doing anything of the sort.
    Its just constant “Obama did this wrong and this and this.” Never a bit of compliment that he or his administration did anything right.

    Looking at it from a different point of view you could call it treason and undermining sabotage.

  2. Rfreed? It WAS Mr. Obama as candidate called rural folk during a ‘private’ SanFran fundraiser? Bitter, clinging to God and guns.

    Lots of rurals heard that, which Mr. Obama really said, and thought, “Game is on overgrown College kid.”

    Much of the Right isn’t insane. They come by their opinions honestly.

  3. Brian K. White says:

    @LT What Obama said about the 25-year trend of job-losses in up-state Pennsylvania was “they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations.”

    So let’s look at it a couple ways, because I don’t see how that could be a rallying point. Is it the word “bitter”? That’s not a bad word, is it?

    What upsets me is that there are people who are bitter, and they have every right to be, but rather do something constructive about it, they carry guns to town hall meetings. They oppose stem cell research because God told them to. They hate ferners because dey tik er jerbs. That doesn’t help the situation, it doesn’t right the ship, and it doesn’t address the real problems, but it does bring them out to vote.

  4. Bargis Tryhol says:

    Might want to choke back those warm and cozy ‘pro-gun’ Obama thoughts there rfreed…This just in!

    People who truly understand the pro-ownership positions of gun rightists oppose President Obama’s recent nomination of Andrew Traver as director of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (BATFE). (I guess they’re ‘bitter’ huh?)

    Traver has been deeply aligned with gun control advocates and anti-gun activities, including fundraising, proposed anti-gun legislation, and genertal support of anti-gun candidates. This makes him the wrong choice to lead an enforcement agency that has almost exclusive oversight and control over the firearms industry, its retailers and consumers. Further, an important nomination such as BATFE director should not be made as a “recess appointment,” in order to circumvent consent by the American people through their duly elected U.S. Senators. (Yeah, this tends to make some of us pretty ‘bitter’ about skewered democracy)

    Traver served as an advisor to the International Association for Chiefs of Police’s (IACP) “Gun Violence Reduction Project,” a “partnership” with the Joyce Foundation. Both IACP and the Joyce Foundation are names synonymous with promoting a variety of gun control schemes at the federal and state levels. Most of the individuals involved in this project were prominent gun control activists and lobbyists. (I bet they’re not ‘bitter!’)

    Now, who said that Obama was a gun ownership protector? I’m not ‘bitter,’ about Obama since he’ll be a one-term President anyway, what I am angry at is his ‘late-night’ placement of a surrogate anti Second Amendment supporter. The IACP is a basic loudspeaker for anti-gun views and is hardly considered mainstream as most police agencies openly support 2nd Amendment rights.

    The Chicago-based Joyce Foundation’s position on anti-Second Amendment positions is well known and recent articles published on their behalf have been widely refuted as ‘biased re-hased 1980s Brady Campaign hype’ by many legitimate researchers.

    Both organizations use a banner of ‘stopping illegal gun trade and trafficking’ as their objective, but once you read deeper they are very supportive of removing all gun ownership from the hands of private citizens. I guess in their eyes, any legal gun owner is a potential trafficker.

  5. Brian K. White says:

    Wow Bargis… I don’t even know what to say. I guess I’d just point you to THIS ARTICLE (link) and leave you just with the thought that maybe the gun issue is a red herring, designed exactly to distract you from the more serious issues. Obama has done nothing so far to abridge gun rights, but I understand your concern.

    Now can we get back to the much more serious issue of San Francisco’s 11th-hour-defeated Happy Meal toy ban???

    (And a word of advice for the next challenger to former speaker Pelosi, you should have pointed out that she had her own private military jet to fly home each weekend. That would have won you crazy points in terms of fiscal responsibility.)

    And if I’m being really serious, which I never am, I’d like to point out that you’re AVOIDING THE TOPIC of Obama shooting Sasquatch, an admittedly endangered species. Nothing to say? Point one for the anti-you side (though which side that could possibly be, in this case, I have absolutely no idea.)

  6. Bargis Tryhol says:

    Yeah Brian, I read about Pelosi and the military jet rides. For the life of me I can never figure out how she kept warm strapped to that wing!

  7. San Francisco wants the toys in Happy Meals replaced with condoms and gay porn pamphlets. Yep it’s true; I NEVER fabricate, nope not me.

    Must admit, have never really got the gun thing. Fairly stupid of candidate Obama talking about rurals “clinging to guns” but Mr. Obama doesn’t want to confiscate deer rifles.

    Yet I don’t understand why it took SCOTUS to say private citizens in DC have the Constitutional right to a handgun in their homes. Weird; I thought even bears in Yosemite knew that. But it went to the Supremes, and somebody was arguing against the right of a private citizen with no criminal record to have a handgun in his/her home.

    Who would that have been arguing before the high Court that a law abiding US citizen can’t have a handgun at home? Uhm… a Democrat maybe?

    IF some Democrats insist on taking to SCOTUS what 2/3 of US citizens would consider a big DUH! than they do risk cariacture from the Right.

  8. Bargis Tryhol says:

    Good points L-T, but the anti-gun crowd isn’t limited to Democrats only. Case in point….NYC mayor, and so-called Republican, Michael Bloomberg is perhaps the modern day equivilant of Sarah Brady on dollar muscled steroids. There are many Democrats who support Second Amendment issues with the same fervor as their Republican counterparts. Perhaps the strangest bedfellows in the Heller vs Washington DC case were the coupling of the NRA and the ACLU. Both saw the stupidity and danger of state rationed Constitutional rights being committed toward law abiding citizens. DC Citizens were basically told that they could keep a rifle or shotgun in DC providing it was fully disassembled and locked up. Handguns were banned outright, unless of course you were politically connected and could obtain the proper permits to have one in your home. A similar situation was present in Chicago and the Supremes struck that down as well.

    With Obama, his political savvy tells him gun control in the US is a dead issue with citizens favoring private firearm ownership by a whopping 86%. This doesn’t mean Obama has gone soft and doesn’t pander to the far left (who historically have found comfort in only allowing authoritive figures to own guns) Obama will use surrogates to deflect criticism and seek his own backhanded interpretation of various gun control schemes.

  9. rfreed says:

    Well, I guess I could say that the point to my original reply was that certain people were knocking Obama on everything that he does just to knock him down to make way for their own replacements who will keep things the same for the big boys to profit by, but that got overlooked and forgotten. I’d go into it deeper but it is like getting a scratchy record to play straight again once it has been in a groove too long.
    If the Dems truly are setting up this Traver guy to be a mole then it is just a reflection of what Reagan and Bush did all along with their appointments shamelessly (Anyone remember Watt?). No, it wouldn’t be right, but then again with all the misinformation that the NRA puts out I would have to take it with a grain of salt.
    I own two guns. No one at any time in any way has ever tried to take them from me and I don’t see it happening in the near future. NRA wants to keep all their loyal followers loyal and afraid by yelling “Booo! They’re going to take your guns away! BOOO!” all the time.
    Maybe the Chicago cops are getting tired of being blown away by AK 47’s? Maybe they hate to have to go to strange doors at night and wonder if they will ever see their family again.
    Maybe too many people take their “gun rights” way beyond the normal pistol and rifle. Who really needs a fully automatic weapon capable of shooting tens of rounds or a machine gun? Either a total paranoid or a killer maniac. But that is what too many of the gun nuts are into. I worked for an old SOB who was a redneck Bush pilot, rich and had guns line up behind the sofa of the lounge and reputedly had an arsenal upstairs. Why? What does a person need with that much? It is a mental illness of some sort.
    Its this “Me, me, me and me only” mentality crap that has pervaded America for two decades where all that matters is ones own little world and the rest of society and the world can go to hell. We are on the same path that England went down- once a world power now fallen on its own selfishnesses, weaknesses and ignorances.

  10. Brian K. White says:

    @Bargis Perhaps the strangest bedfellows in the Heller vs Washington DC case were the coupling of the NRA and the ACLU. Both saw the stupidity and danger of state rationed Constitutional rights being committed toward law abiding citizens.
    ACLU only takes sides with the constitution. That may seem convenient when the NRA gets the support, but they’re just doing the same job as when they are called radical leftists. I guess that makes the constitution a pinko document.

  11. Bargis Tryhol says:

    Rfreed…you’re a hoot!

  12. rfreed says:

    Like I said about the record with the scratch in it….

  13. Bargis, TY for adding that bit on Bloomberg. The whole gun thing confuses me. I believe vast majority of Dems nationwide were against DC handgun ban. Yet they let entire party get branded anti-gun over stances of a few extremists.

    NRA just beats the heck out of me too. Much I admire about Charlton Heston, but I’ve NO idea who he thought was trying to get his rifle!

    Just one more bit of evidence, there’s BIG money in trying to keep the citizenry divided, demonizing one another.

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