RICHMOND, Virginia (GlossyNews) — In a statement today endorsed by Republicans in both the Senate and the House, the entire Republican party has taken issue with the breathing patterns of Democrats.

“We feel that once again the Democrats are flip-flopping on important issues including which way to breathe,” said Republican Party Chairman Michael Steele. “While the rest of the country is breathing in, the Democrats are breathing out. It’s just another example of how out of step the Democrat party is with the rest of the country.”

All the morning and evening news shows were abuzz with the new finding. Even Fox News got in on the act showing various split screen news clips of Democrats side by side with Republican congressman breathing one way or the other, and using it as proof that Democrats were not breathing in the same pattern as everyone else. And for four hours today, Rush Limbaugh crowed that his breathing pattern was more like the average American than Obama’s, which “more closely followed the breathing pattern of an Islamic Terrorist.”

As the new finding decimates the already disastrous Democrat poll numbers, a wheezing and exasperated President Obama is planning a nationwide speech to apologize to the American people, and try to get things back on track.