NRA Pushes For Personal Atom Bomb For Every American

The National Rifle Association unleashed its new campaign to allow all American citizens “their God-given rights to own an atom bomb!” The public is being bombarded with television, newspaper, movie and billboard ads pushing the new ‘right’ that the NRA feels should be passed through Congress. Already the Fox News channel has picked up the baton and is aggressively pushing for legalization of individual possession.

Anyone challenging this new mandate has been ruthlessly booed down and hunted. Legislators opposing the bill in Congress have been subjected to jeering and intimidation from pro-bomb pundits. People protesting the idea of individual ownership of bombs have recieved angry letters and death threats from anonymous sources.

New slogans have already surfaced- “When atom bombs are outlawed only outlaws will have atom bombs”, “Having an atom bomb in your home is a great deterrent to crime” and other sayings have developed. People complaining about it have been told “Why do you hate America? Do you want only the terrorists to have atom bombs?” and “I have every right to possess an atom bomb if I want to! It is nobody else’s business.”, and the classic “You’ll have to pry this bomb from my cold dead fingers!”

Interestingly enough the NRA appears to have bought the the majority share of stocks in the first company to mass produce atom bombs for the general consumer. Side businesses in making atom bomb assessories have blossomed including such things as atom bomb decals, atom bomb silencers, atom bomb display racks, and atom bomb shoulder holsters.

Once the personal possession atom bomb amendment is forced through Congress the NRA plans on pushing for the legal right to carrying concealed atom bombs on the street. More later.

Author: rfreed

I was born and I died. Being a disembodied entity makes it very cheap for me to get by. Not having to worry about eating or having a place to live gives me a lot of freedom to squander my time writing occasionally funny articles. See more almost funny stuff at

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