5 Spies With More Personality Than Bond

James Bond is probably the most famous spy in the world. He has been at the forefront of world stardom ever since he appeared in the 1962 film Dr No. Oozing English charisma and loaded with the coolest gadgets, he has foiled the evil plans of some of the most devious villains and fought off the attacks of their fiercest henchmen, but is he the best there is? These comedic figures may not quite have the suaveness of 007 himself, here are five spies that would give Bond a run for his money in the personality stakes:

Austin Power

The Mike Myers-inspired goofball has this spy malarkey down to a tee. He also puts Bond to shame with his flamboyant dress sense that is more Jason King than Jason Bourne. Up against the evil and dastardly nemesis that is the aptly named Dr Evil and his microsized henchmen Mini-Me, he prances his way to victory in his flower-power-inspired world. One of his many catchphrases is “Yeah, baby, yeah”, which adds to the dorky appeal of the bucked tooth heroes eccentric styling’s; surely better than a bland “shaken not stirred”.

Mike Myers by David Shankbone CC BY 3.0

Jane Blonde

This female spy that first appeared in the Jill Marshall series of novels has inspired a generation of young readers to enjoy the adventures of this gadget-wielding heroine. Up against evil doers such as Copernicus, this female-empowering character is also the star of online slots and a possible film adaptation. Rather than the typecast damsel in distress of the James Bond movies, Jane Blonde is the charismatic female protagonist.

Johnny English

The well-meaning but inept Johnny English has one desire, to be the number one employee of M17. His determination is an admirable quality but his sheer unpredictability gives him the edge over Mr Bond. Everyone knows that James Bond is going to stop the evil villain in the end with some sort of courageous act but with Johnny English you never know what you are going to get. How can this incompetent bumbler ever think he can stop an evil genius? With true slapstick caper, that’s how.

Rowan Atkinson as Johnny English by Eva Rinaldi (CC BY-SA 2.0)

James Pond

The intelligent secret agent mudskipper of the 1990 game on the Sega Mega Drive has our mutated, anthropomorphic, fish hero cleansing the underwater environment of the oil slicks and radioactive waste released by supervillain Dr Maybe. This super spy has no need for gadgets to help him breathe underwater and can stop villains using his bubble attack so no need for some fancy dan arsenal of weaponry. With levels such as “A View To a Spill” and “Leak and Let Die”, you don’t need to watch the Bond movies when you can get all the entertainment you need for the Pond game and its sequel Robocod.

Inspector Gadget

If you thought James Bond had the coolest gadgets then think again. Inspector Gadget with his unforgettable catchphrase “Go-go gadget arms (depending on which appendage he was launching the gismo from)” is still the unquestionable king of the spy tech world.

Aided by his niece Penny and their hyper-intelligent dog Brain, the powerful but dim-witted hero thwarts countless schemes of the evil villain Dr Claw and his organisation known as MAD.

So next time you think of James Bond as the world’s greatest spy you might want to spare a thought for these five stars of the spying genre for they are truly awesome.

Author: Dexter Sinistri

Dexter Sinistri is a famously centrist writer who has worked as a Hollywood correspondent for a number of leading publications since 2005. Though once a photographer, Mr. Sinistri struck out as a writer on all things celebrity, and he likes to consider himself a tremendous asset to Glossy News, though by most accounts, he has fallen somewhat short of this effort.


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