Walmart Introduces New Signage to Help Customers Locate Existing Signage

INDIANAPOLIS – Retail giant Walmart has rolled out a brand new idea to install helpful signage to guide customers in the direction of existing signage.

The plan, which was tested across select national stores yesterday, is viewed as a solution to what some consumers describe as an “overwhelming maze.”

RIGHT: Click the image to read the whole joke… kinda got cut off there, sorry.

“Every time I go into Walmart, it takes me 15 minutes just to find a bag of Meow Mix,” said Linda Horton, a resident of Indianapolis. “It takes me even longer to find the sign that points me in the direction of the pet food.”

Walmart bosses insist that Mrs Horton’s problem would be resolved by installing near identical looking signs that tell you where all of the most pertinent signs are located across the store.

“We want to make it easier on our customer base,” said Walmart logistics strategist Brent Kline. “Because we offer the largest product quota of any department store in the world, it is imperative that we point consumers toward the very signs that point toward the very product they are looking for. That’s what the new signs are all about.”

The move comes after Walmart president Mike Duke denied that Wal-Mart Stores, Inc was planning a multi-million dollar takeover of the entire town of Daleville in east-central Indiana.

Author: Laurence Brown

Laurence Brown is an award-winning comedic journalist based in Indianapolis, Indiana, who has edited several satirical news papers since 1999. Hailing from the United Kingdom, he has also written plays and short stories. He has a bachelor's degree in English and Creative Writing from Lancaster University. This article was originally published by The Indy Tribune.