Fat People Outraged at Having to Pay for Two Plane Seats

New York, NY Following the recent onslaught on fat people to pay for two seats for a one way, economy class flight, fat people all over the world have finally decided enough is enough with this anatomical discrimination.

Trent Budgwood, chairman of Full Anatomy Travellers ( FAT.org ) an organisation committed to the comfortable travel of above average girthed individuals expressed outrage at the policy being floated by a French airline.

“That episode of ’99 is still as fresh in my mind as my breakfast mozzarella Buffalo milk cheese,” referring to an event in 1999 whereby Frenchman Monsieur Jean-Paul Touze was refused access to an Air France-KLM plane for China because of his expanse.

“If America managed to lift that ridiculous ban on HIV people flying into the US, what example are the airlines showing to the rest of the world by denying very healthy people trying to board a stupid 747?” he asked.

“He wasn’t even coughing at the time for crying out loud,” he added.

His sentiments were echoed by the French Secretary of State for the Family Madame Nadine Morano.

“If people have to pay twice because of they like to eat slightly larger portions, I find that shocking” she said.

Air France, which has been fighting a ten year long, losing battle with fat, overweight and obese people finally sensed this was their time to carpe diem and win the war.

“It’s been an acrimonious decade long fight to bring some equity in this industry. No man or woman has a right to be fatter than the other and so the fatter you are, well, there is a price to pay,” said Louis Deveroux, communications manager for the airline.

“2010 is our year of victory against the fatties,” he added, “just because we have wide-bodied planes, doesn’t mean we want wide-bottomed passengers.”

Though mostly thin and average bodied travelers, a number of passengers interviewed were in support of the new rules. Airplane manufacturers, on the other hand, believed the main problem is the size of the planes not the people.

“Airlines should go for bigger planes and retire the smaller planes and other smaller fleets, including our own, and invest in the Airbus A380 Super Jumbo,” said Charles Champion, head of Engineering Airbus Industrie, the main civilian plane maker in Europe and a subsidiary of EADS.

“… and whoever thinks the majority of today’s kids will fit in the 18.75 inch seats must be dreaming with their head thousands of feet in the sky,” added Champion.

With the European overweight people threatening legal action backed by the massive financial and literal might and size of fat.org, Air France-KLM PR people loosened up the conditions: a 25 percent discount for the second seat and full refund in cases of underbooking.

Mr. Bugdwood was politely asked to deplane a Southwest Airlines flight at the Chicago O’Hare International Airport on his way to lend moral support to organisation members across the Atlantic.

Inside sources suggested Southwest management was considering similar measures in a review of their 1990 ‘Spilling Over And Protruding Passengers Policy’.

Author: MRJ

Mahmud R. Joel loves to play with stereotypes but frankly is too lazy to work, too nervous to steal and too proud to beg, but we 'does' guarantee news satire in real time-that's how we kill time. And FYI, just like the "S" in Harry S. Truman, the "R" stands for nothing really. Not giving much here. For more check us out at newsync.blogspot.com - the first African news satire and humour blog with a global perspective.

2 thoughts on “Fat People Outraged at Having to Pay for Two Plane Seats

  1. My brother died from complications with obesity at the prime of his life. He had a dedicated seat as a Greyhound bus driver but he had interesting stories to tell about obese passengers. What lead to his death is covered at the end. He didn’t fly but believed that he should pay for two seats if he did.

    Overly fat people SHOULD PAY MORE. They already pay MORE for their food comsumption.They pay more for their clothes at “BIG AND TALL”. They pay MORE at the theater when they visit the concession stand!…so they should be used to paying MORE. Many of them pay for RX meds that they wouldn’t need if their weight was under control.

    But they only complain when they are asked to pay for two seats…one for each BUN…literally.

    I once sat between two obese men on a transcontinental flight. My shoulders were squished-in over my chest and it was hard to breath. It was the most miserable experience in my life. Did I get a discount for nearly sufficating? No. THEY INVADED THE SPACE THAT I PAID FOR!!!

    Another flight; the obese man next to me seemed to have to adjust his position every few minutes and each time I got hammered and his right cheek was pressed against my left one the entire flight…yuck!!!!

    If you are unfortunate to be obese, I truly feel sorry for you because for SOME it’s a medical condition for others it’s a choice. When it comes to food, you can “suck it up”, why not suck it up and pay for two seats?

    Your refusal to pay for two seats just says to the world that you want the Airlines to lose money and the person sitting next to you to sacrifice the space HE PAID FOR…just to accommodate your selfishness. Your attitude on this reflects the emotional issues that contribute to your obesity.

    Is there another reason why I’m so outraged? YES, obesity claimed the life of my dear brother in the prime of his life. He ate nothing but fast food and junk for years and years and it caught up with him. I was visiting him when he literally exploded through orifices of his body. I took him to emergence but he died 13 hours later. While he was in intensive care, they were not able to give him certain drugs to stabilize him due to his condition.

    I’ve said enough. Oh, I live by the 5 pound rule….”Gain 5 lose 5″.

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