Important News for Our Readers, Writers & Advertisers!

As Glossy News Satire is not the biggest publication out there (YET!) πŸ˜‰ It’s really rather important for us to constantly strive to boost site income. Not only my personal income, but that of the boss and his family, are partly dependent on the earnings from this site: and you can be damn sure even a drop-dead bloody HILARIOUS site like this isn’t exactly going to turn you into Elon Musk or Bill Gates overnight! πŸ™‚

Now, the first thing we’d like to do is encourage our readers, writer and advertisers to share this post if possible, in order to draw attention to our need for a steady supply of ads. Some of you might even want to share the ads page too, which you can find here.

Secondly, we’d like to emphasise that the more ads we get, the more likely either the boss and I are to be able to up our actual investment in the site itself. Right now, as you would expect, our monthly income is only a part of the broader income of both parties, so we obviously need to take care of our basic live expenses (and in the case of the boss, his family too), before we can invest more in the site. Zooming out to me specifically, I have other forms of work other than this site, but ultimately, the more income from ads we get, and the more shares of our articles, the closer the boss and I can get to really investing hard, and pushing the site even further.

Thirdly, I’d like to announce that our pilot scheme for this year is over.

We are no longer having a distinction of any kind between ‘regular clients’ and ‘privileged clients.’ Instead, all adverts will now be at the single, standard rate of $70 per ad. Discounts for multiple ads will, however, be possible, on a case by case basis. I repeat: all clients will now be charged $70 per ad, except for bulk discounts for multiple ads. In many cases, this will actually be favorable terms. It will also make it more streamlined and simple. As always, any adverts do not need to be perfect, but they just need to be good enough quality and add genuine value for the reader. The grammar, spelling, punctuation and stylistics should be at least as good as that of a high school leaver in a country like the USA or UK (for example).

Having said all that, just wanted to thank all our amazing writers, readers and advertisers for their support, and we hope our new streamlined system will help our site take off; along with your amazing social media shares!

C’mon, let’s do this! πŸ’™

P.S. Catch our social media here and here. We follow back!


This is the original wording of the edits we made about our pilot scheme. These have now been removed but are archived here.

Please be aware that in order to secure and maintain good relationships with quality clients, Glossy News Satire areΒ  strictly adhering to our new advert rate from 1 January 2020. This is a pilot scheme we’re floating, but we are taking it very seriously, as we believe it will help maintain and further improve quality and quantity of advert submissions, while also benefiting those who send us ads. Here’s how it works.

We have two client brackets. Standard client and privileged client. All clients begin as standard clients and must pay us $90 per individual advert, although even at this early stage, discounts for multiple adverts can be arranged on a case by case basis. Eventually, if a standard client has arranged a significant number of adverts with us, and the quality is consistent, we will offer them the chance to be upgraded to a privileged client status. Note that under NO circumstances will anyone begin as a privileged client, as we need to get a few adverts published first, to see if the quality is consistent. Please rest assured that this new policy is for the benefit of all our readers, clients, advertisers, writers and editors, as it the better the quality of the articles, the better the user experience, the better the SEO, and ultimately, the better the traffic stats and our branding and reputation.

However, if your budget is low, but the quality of content is good (in practice, we find this rarely happens, but there are always exceptions, and we like to keep an open mind and not miss out on a good business opportunity for both of us!), then be aware there are three options for you:

Individual ad at standard price.

Bulk deals: 2 or more ads at a discount rate, paid as a single lump sum in advance.

Subscriptions (potentially cheaper than option 1 or 2: ask us!)

We will put a link on at least two social media outlets. This is our main one.

Author: Editorials and Announcements