A “How-To” for Your First Impeachment Party!

WELCOME and CONGRATULATIONS!

A party planner for host and guest for the brand new 2019 winter fete: ‘The Impeachment Party!’

So you finally got the invite you were praying for. Now what to do?

Dress

We’re at a festive and celebratory event – with a serious undertone. You might dress in layers – think bright and festive colors on top. Black and white work well together for the bottom layer, as this is the time we can again see black from white clearly. So, be careful to avoid greys and beiges. We have had enough with the grays. Think ‘step out and sparkle.’

Mood and Special Gnvitee groups

For Harry Potter fans and wannabes – this is your magical night. Bring your wands and practice your charms—‘expelliaramus’ (expel-liar-amongst-us).

For the Jews Amongst You

This party has elements of many holidays you’ll know. For the Passover lover – this is reminiscent of the exodu s- all of us coming through what has been a very narrow and difficult passage. Hence exodus/expel. Then there’s the drama of Purim too!

For the Progressives Coming

Watch out for people who begin conversations with comparisons to a Hillary… They are not as happy as you tonight and may turn really negative as the party gets going.

For the fiscally conservative and socially liberal – this promises to be a good night out and well under budget. You may even want to think about how to retrieve and re-use what others will be expelling.

And for all minorities and immigrants in the crowd- this is your night to shine!

What to Serve

Feature refreshments that can be easily expelled. Fruits with pits, beans that cause the passing of gas, carbonated sodas that cause lots of burping, artichokes and other vegetables that will leave something behind are great choices. Diuretics can add to the mix, but apply caution as this impeachment party been a long way in coming and we don’t want to go too quickly. Savor it.

Party Games: Mixing and Schmoozing

Here we set the tone and get into the lowly spirit of how we descended to this glorious event. Party goers introduce themselves in very exaggerated and pompous terms. The bigger the claim, the better. Claims about shoe sizes, elementary school report cards, bowel movements… Any achievement counts, and none of them are too trivial! Start looking for people whom you can belittle. Think small. Think petty. Use one syllable words!

True or False – the Game that Never Ends!

This can be played in groups- and in rounds. Everyone makes a statement and each person has to guess is this true or false? In past games of this sort, people used to cop to lying or not at the end of each round. But not tonight! The lying about lying continues and continues. Denials are veiled. The mood darkens and no one trusts anyone. The real fun is about to begin!

The Snare Games

The derivation of the word ‘impeachment’ goes back to the Latin word pedica, “fetter; snare”, a derivative of ped, “foot”, which gave rise to impedicare, a verb meaning “to tie the feet together.” And this gives rise to the snare games. There are lots of variations in play: how is the person to snare the one accused and chosen, how and where is the snaring done, what happens after?

The Accusal and Choosing the Person to Snare!

Short Variation

To save time, you can begin the drama before the party. Start a conversation about people’s made up wrongdoings amongst the invitees. This builds up some defensiveness and animosity – this is great for the party! The host then picks the victim. A variation of the short game is to invite someone as victim who has been a first class jackass and who is very well known to your community. Then, watch the fun as he is snared by his peers! Some parties will simply pick the person wearing the most orange.

Long Variation with Full Accusal

This begins as a verbal game and then it gets more physical as it heats up. Party goers accuse each other of anything, in order to key in on a victim. People can be partnered with visiting attorney(s) to argue and yell on their behalff. The key is to lie with no semblance of meaning! Contradictions add to the excitement and confusion. Bring in spokespeople. The host may ask for a ‘biggest scoundrel/liar’ vote at some point, then miscount, and make the decision himself. He or she may simply decide. The crowd may start with the familiar chorus ‘lock him up,’ and then the gang has decided. It all works!

Whether you play a short or a long variation, this phase does a great job of whipping up fear, creating divisiveness, and destroying any remaining trust. No worries, we are getting to the snaring and ejection staging. Relief in sight!

Snare Play

In the basic snare game, guests are given small lines of rope and practice snaring each other at the foot. In Texas, guests may combine the snaring activity with rodeo games and lasso throwing at actual rodeo sites. In the ‘45’ variety, party goers take advantage of the snared individuals with feet tied, in unrelated activities that may get a bit naughty.

The Climax Impeachment and Expulsion

Here as host, you can be truly inventive – so many choices! What is the setting to be, method of expelling, physical barrier to re-entry? Will you eject him from the study/office even if 45 hasn’t spent much time there? Is the golf course a more realistic setting? How about the toilet?

How will you secure your home border for no return after ejection? Are you going to build a Wall? What is your family budget? Will some fencing do the trick?

Make your choice and celebrate.

Then take an impeachment photo, so you can relish it and record what really happened!

The Finale and After Parties

We hope that this impeachment party is truly cathartic for all. ‘After parties’ will inevitably spring up. There are solemn ones with themes of a personal confessional and rededication to integrity. Science fairs are planned for adults. July 4 takes on an old-fashioned twist as party goers combine patriotism with pledges of renewed honesty, pluralism and partnerships. And there is now a rumor of a new party in partial view – the faint but distinctive re-emergence of a Republican Party.

Please send photos and great stories from your Impeachment Party to enoughalready@45hastogo.com!

Author: Geronima

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